The Sisters

Lucy (red collar), and Ethel (black collar) are now two and a half years old. They have grown from very sick kittens to healthy, mature cats, though they remain on the small side.

But I seldom use their 'names' anymore. I just call the 'the sisters', or big sister (Lucy) and little sister (Ethel).

Well, mostly healthy. I really cannot say they have the ‘health’ of a typical housecat. For one thing, they BOTH have allergies, different of course! Lucy will get terrible sneezes and runny eyes at certain times of the year when she sits in the open window. Ethel gets severe asthma if she eats anything with salmon in it. The first time this happened, I thought I was going to have to figure out how to do kitty mouth to mouth. The second time, I was able to ‘link’ the severe asthma attack to her having JUST eaten cat food with salmon in it. Needless to say, we do not eat salmon around here any more!

Though they are very much alike, they have differences. Lucy is the larger, has shorter hair, and is the ‘boss’. She is more sedate, klutzy, and loves to cuddle at my feet in bed at night. Ethel is the clown, the acrobat, and plays, plays, plays. She is also the ‘talker’ and sometimes drives me nuts with her complaining, nagging, crying if there is something she wants, RIGHT NOW!

Both are fussy eaters. Lucy eats mainly dry food, Deli-Cat, and a couple of other Purina flavors. Ethel wants her ‘fresh’ dinner at sunset every night.

Food has been a major source of frustration for me. I have tried every canned, pouch, (even the expensive stuff) food available. Sometimes they will ‘nibble’ at it, sometimes they will sniff it and walk away.

But after two years, that problem has been solved. Ethel showed me! I had purchased and made a sandwich of that thin sliced chicken. You know the kind, it’s in a ‘one serving’ package. It was good too!

The next morning I found that Ethel had gotten the package out the trash (without turning it over) and left the empty package right in front of my chair. Without much thought, I tossed it back in the trash. Well, Ethel came out of the bedroom like a shot! She again got the package out of the trash, and literally carried/drug it around until I finally took it outside. But by then, I had the message!

I now no longer buy ‘moist’ or canned cat food. I buy good quality thin sliced, beef, chicken, turkey, and ham. I try to get brands that have nothing else added. And I think it’s cheaper in the long run. Even a small package lasts three days. Every evening now, I cut up a few slices of this in small pieces, and they gobble it up!

Tonight, I only had a few pieces of sliced ham left, and I wanted a sandwich! So I fixed them their dinner using only one slice, and made me a sandwich. Well, I had counted wrong. There was ONE slice of meat left in the package, which I had tossed up top of the Toaster Oven.

It was not long after we had eaten that Lucy lugged this BIG almost empty package with one thin slice of ham left in it, to me and literally dropped it in front of my feet, looking at me accusingly. I checked the kitchen, and sure enough, their dinner bowel was empty. I laughed the entire time I was fixing that last slice of ham for the Sisters that were waiting impatiently at my feet.

Walking and thinking and feeling

This beautiful summer evening, I took a long, leisurly walk (ride, really, in my wheelchair) around the apartment complex just as it was getting dark.

As always, I feel melancholy, sad, for unknown reasons at dusk, it has been this way for me for as long as I can remember. For years and years, I did not understand this sudden onset of daily, timed, ‘depression’. Finally, in recent years, I have come to realize that it is just part & parcel of Seasonal Affective Disorder; it is some kind of strong physical into emotional reaction in me to the sun going down, the day ending.

Even though I had spent the day alone, going out, in the fresh air, turned my thoughts inward, to myself. I am so pleased with myself, with my ‘progress’ so to speak. In spite of unimaginably high hurdles, I am not only OUT of bed, but also I am OUT of my wheelchair when in my apartment. I have lost 50 pounds, and am struggling to lose more. I have eBooks for sale at online retailers. I finally (after years of knowing I needed one and fighting to get it) have an insulin pump, and I am seeing real results in many ways, some of them expected, some are surprises.

Still, I beat myself up. It has been three years since I was literally ‘bed bound’ from the fatigue of Hereditary Hemochromatosis. I have come a long way since then. I still harbor resentment in losing almost 10 years out of my life. But at 60 I am acutely aware of time’s passing, and how little time there is left to do what I want to do. And I want to do a lot!

After realizing that, I can only do what I can do. Limited by the lack of health, energy, and cash, my life moves along much slower than I would choose, so I ‘push’ the river.

Though my evening ‘walk’ was totally introspective, I enjoyed every minute of it. It no longer makes me envious, as it did 4 or 5 years ago, to see other people living their lives. A pleasant realization.

I cruised by the crystal blue pool, watched some people swimming for a few minutes, and felt no envy, nor self-pity. These wonderful changes and successes in my life in the past three years, have led me to think, hmmm how, and when can I do that?

CozmoPumpers!

Well, I have gone and done it; started a YahooGroup for Deltec Cozmo Insulin Pumpers! I hope that it will eventually be large enough to share lots of info, yet small enough to be 'personal'.


If you would like to join: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/CozmoPumpers/
Or send a blank email to: CozmoPumpers-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

My new Cozmo Insulin Pump is here!

MediCare/MediCal finally realized that I was not going to shut up (they were right, I’d have appealed a negative decision on this up through the hearing and court levels) until they approved it and so a large cardboard box arrived via the brown truck today. I knew it was arriving, but I was afraid to mention it until I actually had it in my possession. I did not want to ‘jinx’ it!

I unpacked it, boy what a lot of strange looking stuff! (And I am very experienced with insulin and glucose meters!). As I was opening different boxes of equipment, just to look, I had to wonder if I would ever master it. Looks like it is going to take a lot of learning! But, of course, I will!

In fact, I am excited! Perhaps I will, at last, get my blood glucose under control. It has been a struggle for long years to get to here, losing almost 60 pounds (I was told my diabetes would either go away or get better with even a small weight loss. Hah!), trying different oral medications with the insulin I was taking, and lastly, Byetta. (For which I am still taking medications for Urticaria!)

Still, I think the Cozmo Insulin pump and equipment came with more ‘paper’ and manuals then you used to get with a new computer, and including two CD ROMs. I briefly read the ‘quick start, stuff, but I haven’t installed the software nor watched the tutorial yet, let alone read any of the manuals in depth.

Of course, it came with a ‘discreet’ ‘catalog’ list of accessories I could buy, if I had the bucks. I actually do not think an upload cable ($59), nor a case ($18), are accessories. I think they may be necessities. (As are a couple of paperbacks I will need to buy.) Looks like I’m going to be ‘pump poor’ for a few months.

But I don’t care. I am so excited! I am finally looking at a real improvement in my quality of life as far as Diabetes is concerned. There is even evidence now that some of the problems of Diabetes that I have developed, (Gastroparesis, neuropathy, frequent infections) can improve with good blood sugar control.

There have been so many, many fights with doctors, insurance, etc. this past 10 years. And with all the rare (and life threatening) difficult health issues I have had, Diabetes has often had to take a back seat. This was not because it medically should have, but because I am not a ‘monied’ person, and can only fight one fight at a time. (Had I had my ‘druthers’, I would have purchased a pump 10 years ago!)

I have my first appointment with the Cozmo Diabetes Educator tomorrow afternoon! Yes!

D O W DOW

D – O – W DOW!

If you are old enough to remember the stereo wars, raise your hand!

That media campaign, the fight for business by various stereo retailers drove me nuts! You could not pick up a newspaper or magazine without every other page being a full-page ad. And television and radio were almost impossible, commercial after commercial after loud, stupid commercial (this was BEFORE those terrific remote ‘mute’ buttons).

There was even a time when I wondered if anything else was being sold in America! The stereo ‘wars’ seemed to last forever, in fact I think it was at least a couple of years. By then you would have thought that everyone in the country would have had purchased several of them, one for each room. I thought it would never end.

I actually thought I’d never be as irritated or aggravated by ANY ad campaign again. Not so!

The ED, Erectile Dysfunction ads have filled that void. They are everywhere, all the time. There is no escape from seeing heterosexual middle-aged couples of all races, but only of upper classes, be touchy-feely for 60 seconds. Gag! (No pun intended!)

Not to mention that this class of drugs, by their very nature, discriminate against women. Do not women get diabetes or high blood pressure, or high cholesterol and experience a diminished sex drive and response? Of course they do. But no one cares about the female aspect of aging and sexuality, except women, and they do not have nearly the $$$ to spend on pharmaceuticals as do men!

It also irks me that the focus of these ads (indeed, of our society in general now) are on ‘having sex’. Whatever happened to making love? Surely, the romantic middle-aged couples featured in these ads make love, they’d probably never conceive (pun intended!) of such a relationship bonding act as simple sex...

The clincher, for me, of this massive media campaign is the listing of the many side effects of these drugs. They include but are not limited to: blushing (these ads make me blush!), feeling feint when going from a sitting to standing position, (hell, every time I stand, I feel feint, and it’s been that way for years now!), and lastly, if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, seek immediate medical help (actually, if you experience an erection lasting longer than hour, give ME a call!).

Bladder Biopsy Results

I have been remiss on filling everyone in; I have been too busy basking in ‘relief’.

For the first time in the last five years, my bladder biopsies came back negative! All four previous procedures came back: Transitional Cell Carcinoma T1G3 – one ‘stage’ short of total removal of my bladder.

I was absolutely blown away. (Even my doc was surprised!) I had been dreading further treatment, been making plans for such though. Suddenly, all the worry and planning was moot!

Now, I have the next 6 months of summer to actually enjoy in ‘freedom’ before I have to go in for another office ‘poke & peek’ (cystoscopy), and whatever may then follow. I intend to take advantage of it. I have to admit that for me, the unusual feelings of calm and ‘normalcy’ is more than rare.

This does not mean that I will slack up on my health issues. NO! In fact, this ‘breather’ from cancer will provide the chance I need to better tend to health issues like diabetes, weight loss, keeping that Hemoglobin down to make sure my liver isn’t further damaged by Hereditary Hemochromatosis. And I will continue the ‘program’ I’ve developed for myself (and with my docs approval) to deal with the bladder cancer.

Basking is great! Basking is good! And I’m gonna do just that, including swimming, reading some good books (mysteries, poetry, memoirs), listening to some of my favorite music (modern classical & classic rock), and going to the pier! Just as soon as I pick the next project to work on (the mystery I think) and set a date to start writing again...

Same Day Surgery Perks?

Speaking of same day surgery, wouldn't you think in this day & age, when you are discharged from a Same Day Surgery Unit, you would be given a video of your procedure as a 'keepsake'? (I did get to watch some of it on the monitor as it was happening-but was a little drugged at the time.)