Oh, I love a rainy day!

As soon as I woke, I knew something was different; there were no cats on my bed! I glanced around and saw they were both at the window, intently watching the rain fall.

Something they pursued later in the day from the 'dry' part of the patio. It was a riot, watching them try to figure it all out.

We don't have 'rainy' days often, so I take advantage of them and do a whole lot of nothing! (In fact, though I enjoy it almost as much - I feel cheated when it rains at night, though I usually stay up and watch!) At least I did nothing that I'm 'supposed' to do! I more or less take the day off...

Not that I wasn't busy today; I made spaghetti (was just waiting for a cool, rainy day), made a second pot of coffee (decaf this time), read a mystery novel, listened to and watched the rain, and took a nap.

If I'm really lucky, it will rain again tomorrow.

The Sisters and the Hummingbird!

I could not believe it! On their fourth outing to the patio, Lucy caught a Hummingbird!

I heard this loud thud, and turned to see Lucy dashing into the house with something in her mouth, something feathered! Ethel followed closely behind with intense interest.

Lucy had been sitting on the patio rail, a couple of plants away from the Hummer Feeder. Next thing I knew plants, and cats were scattered everywhere.

Lucy is the larger of the two by far. She also can't see well, and is probably the klutziest cat you've ever met! If either had caught a bird, let alone a Hummingbird, I would have placed my money on Ethel.

I'm telling you, if you're not familiar with Hummingbirds, you could stand UNDER the feeder all day, every day, grabbing at every bird that appeared with a large net, and NEVER catch one. I swear, that bird must have flown right into Lucy's mouth, or at least 'hung' right in front of her face, so all she had to do was open her mouth!

As soon as I saw what she had in her mouth, I got a paper towel, chased her and Ethel, who was in hot pursuit, around the living room, and under the bed a few times. She never put the bird down, and seemed to be carrying it gently in her partially open mouth. She instinctively knew that both Ethel and I wanted her bounty!

I finally was able to grab Lucy by the nape of the neck and gently extract the Hummer from her mouth; I was sure it was dead. Not so, it looked at me and blinked (or the Hummingbird equivalent!). So I took it out to the patio and placed it in a hanging pot, where it would be safe until it either recovered or died.

I'd no sooner got back in the apartment and shut the patio door when I saw it sit up, shake itself out, and fly away! There were two excited cats, and one sadder but wiser bird, but all's well that ends well!

San Diego Transit

I'm wiped out this evening. And the major reason is the San Diego Metropolitan Transit System! (The reason I don't have a wheel-chair van is because I can neither afford to purchase one, nor pay the upkeep!)

I garnered together the energy to go to the ATM, Barron's (a small grocery), and Long's today. I had put it off for a couple of days just because the ONLY days our #35 bus runs ramp buses instead of lift bus service is on week-ends and holidays.

And having, in the past month, gotten stuck with NON-WORKING public bus lift equipment on two different occasions, I try to schedule non-essential transportation on week-ends.

But since Veolia Transit has contracted to run the #35 for SDMTS, it's been a fire drill. They don't keep up their disabled equipment, they don't train drivers, they don't reply to complaints (either via email or telephone).

Today I made it to the bus stop a few minutes ahead of the scheduled bus, according to a current schedule. (Though it was mid-day, sat there in the shade and froze in the wind coming off the ocean - will it ever be warm in Southern California again?).

The bus arrived, #2510, just a couple of minutes late. As always, I waved to the bus, signaling that I wished to board. The driver (who'd been going FAST), did see me and pull into the stop. Without 'kneeling' the bus, she deployed the ramp, and I rolled on.

As I was boarding, I told her she needed to 'kneel' the bus, as otherwise the ramp was too steep. She replied with something I didn't hear, as her back was to me; she was trying to fold up the side seats so a wheelchair could fit. She was UNABLE to do so; either the seats didn't work, or SHE didn't know how to do it.

She told me I'd have to disembark and wait the 30 min. for the next bus. I asked her to call in and find out HOW to fold the seats. She replied that she would when she got to the end of her route. I had to go a third of the length of the bus interior, disrupting a lot of people, to turn around to exit via the steep ramp.

And if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

Because on the way home, I got the same exact bus, Route 35, #2510! Now this was a couple of hours later. And guess what? Same driver, same problem!!! She said she'd called in the problem. Do I believe her, I don't know.

I do know I had to wait another 30 minutes for another bus. This time though, I was at a shopping center. I was so tired and frustrated that I went to a restaurant and had an early dinner, spending an extra hour and $4.00 I shouldn't have...

Jane Ciacio 1958 – 2007

Jane was a cyberpal for the last 5 years. Though I do not remember in which online Bladder Cancer venue we originally met, we exchanged info, care, and support via email, chats, and phone for years. It turned out that we had more than Bladder Cancer in common, like cats and animals!

Jane died from Bladder Cancer (eventually metastasized), which she battled for the entire time I knew her. She was sweet, smart, helpful, and most of all, caring towards everyone involved in the Bladder Cancer support groups.

I last spoke to her when I called her on her birthday last August (shortly after her radical cystectomy). I had a feeling of deep foreboding at that time, as she was not as chatty as usual, and in fact, did not seem to be herself; I put this down to ‘recovering’ from surgery, and kept waiting for her to bounce back. I doubt there was one day when I did not look for her name in my email inbox or on the message boards. It was not to be.

She will be greatly missed by all (she touched so very many!), certainly she will be missed by me. If you knew Jane Ciacio, there is a Guest Book available for reading and posting at: http://www.legacy.com/Link.asp?I=GB000086129364

Wow, even MORE family!

Kathy Sackett (1980?)

Spurred by my conversation with my half-brother, Bobby Taber yesterday, today I followed up on an email enquiry to Kathy Sackett.

I found her listed on the net and had reason to believe she was the daughter of my Uncle Clay Campbell. Since I had no reply to two emails, and it was to a work addie that might have GOOD spam filters, I looked up the phone number. (In hindsight, she probably GOT the emails, just chose not to respond.)

I got lucky; not only was the business listed, but it was an 800 number! And Kathy Sackett was indeed my Uncle Clay's daughter.

When I last spoke with her, about 15 years ago, she had a different husband, so a different last name (3 rd hubby that I am aware of; she definitely takes after her Dad!). Of course, I gave her my address and phone number at that time, also. But she not only never contacted me, but had not sent a copy of her father's journal that she had promised.

Kathy, who has two brothers, a sister, and a mother I wanted news of, was polite (she's in her fifties now!), but curt. She did tell me that Buddy Campbell committed suicide in 1993, and that her mother had died of cancer in 1996.

I asked her to pass my email on, especially to her older sister (closer to my age). At one point during the conversation she said, "Well, we're not really related, are we," in a curt and sarcastic manner. (My Mom and her Dad would turn over in their graves if they'd heard something like that!) I explained that we were NOT blood relations, but we WERE family; my Mom being Clay's adopted aunt and literally raising him, when his Mom left, though she was only 12 years older.

Contact: Half-Siblings

I had an interesting day. Today is my half-sister's, Marie Hards, birthday (one of the 4 Tabers vs an un-Tabor, me and 3 others). Marie is three years younger than I am.

During our early teens, we were very close, or at least I thought we were. So I always remember her birthday, and about every 5 years or so I call to wish her a 'happy day'. This is is spite of the fact that I haven't seen her in about 20 years, and that the last time I actually spoke to her (again I called on her birthday), she more or less told me to get lost. Her actual words were something like, "We have our own family now, please don't bother us any more."

At any rate, since half-sister Kathy (4.5 years my junior) died this last summer from breast cancer, (I was informed of this via email from a niece in WV), I thought I'd call and leave a 'Happy Birthday' message on their machine. (They never actually answer the phone; they screen - too many relatives out there I guess!).

Much to my amazement, the phone was picked up by a male. I knew it wasn't Marie's hubby Chuck Hards. So I asked for Marie. I was told she wasn't there. I explained that I was just calling to say 'Happy Birthday' from evvy.

At which point, the voice boldly said, "Oh, this is your brother Bobby (Taber)!" (I'd last seen him during the infamous visit, with Marie mentioned above.) Bobby is the youngest.

We proceeded to have a long and interesting conversation. I gave him my phone number (like I've had the same number for the last 23 years!), and my email. And I invited him to come down and visit when he had the chance.

In the typical family way, he did not reciprocate. Other than to say he was living with our brother, Bill (Taber) who has had two heart attacks and surgery. And btw, whatever happened to my x-hubby, they'd tried to get in touch with him. I told him I had no info on x, but both my adult kids would.

Bobby said he'd actually been talking about me, on Thanksgiving, with brother Dale Taber (another of the un-Tabers - really born Dale Foley), who'd come down from WA state to visit. Dale doesn't even reply to email from me or his nieces...

The Girls are OUT!

The Advantage came, (I think I have enough for about 4 years!), and was administered!

This afternoon, in spite of cold and off and on sprinkles, we spent an hour on the patio!

Lucy, the 'alpha' was out that sliding door the moment I called her. Ethel sat right at the threshold a long time, then followed her sister's lead.

They 'smelled' everything. Everything! And they kept glancing at me like they were asking, "is this really OK?" Eventually, each made the leap to the patio rail, and sat watching the world (as did I from my chair!). But they were so excited, nothing lasted long, they'd jump off the rail, go back inside, come back out, smell everything again, then back onto the rail, etc.

Each made it OFF the rail to the grass outside the patio for a minute, then back. So I was reassured they could make the jump (the patio rail is high!). But seems neither of them thought much of the cold, wet grass...

The two suprises?

1) They BOTH kept going back inside at the slightest noise, slinking quickly in the open patio door, and under the couch.

2) When I was finally about frozen and decided we'd been out long enough, I got the treat can and shook it. Neither of them paid a bit of attention to it! I had to 'con' each one into coming back in. (And I don't have a plan B!)

It's been a LONG, almost 3 years, to get them to this point. But all in all, a great experience that I hope to duplicate tomorrow, or soon, though I sure hope it's warmer! Cats should get to go OUT, even if it's supervised...

A Good Deed!

For several month's now, some neighbor has been doing me a 'good deed'.

Almost daily I put my tied up trash bags, empty jugs, boxes, etc, in the white chair outside my front door. I do this because then when I do get out in my wheelchair, the trash is all gathered right there and it's easier for me to take it to the trash bins.

For awhile, I thought I was just forgetting that I hadn't put any trash out. Or that I'd already taken it to the bin.

Then I began to suspect that I was NOT losing my memory (or my mind). And I made mental note of when I put trash out in the chair. Sure enough, it was magically disappearing!

Just to check on this, I deposited one empty milk jug in the seat of the white chair. When I looked the next day, sure enough, it was gone!

Now who is doing this or when, I have no idea. I certainly haven't seen anyone going by my windows carrying my trash! And lately, I've been looking!

No, someone is doing a 'good deed'. Bless them, whomever it is...

Parathyroid Doc - Round 4

I am absolutely blown away.

The last (scantilab) PTH came back NORMAL!

Doc says he's not so concerned about Hyperparathroidism now. (I am!). That he want's to redo test in a 'month or so'.

I said fine! But I ALSO want to move on with whatever is next. Since Sept. 2006, he's done 3 PTH tests: 2 were high, one normal. He has labs from Mercy Clinic for past two years with multiple high PTH results (and some high ionized calciums, and some LOW vit D3's). I have Hyperparathyroid symptoms...

Does redoing the PTH at scantilabs AND moving on not make sense?

Not to doc, he reiterated: 'we'll redo test in a month'. Maybe another 30 days of illness for me (even though I am currently feeling better), another 30 days of waiting, another 30 days out of my remaining time.

I hate docs; why is 'their' decision the absolute, final one? Why is there no 'middle' ground with most of them, no negotiation? Do they teach 'stubborn' in Medical School?

The almost escape!

It was just past midnight and I was sitting in the Living Room watching one of my favorite PBS programs: Rosemary and Thyme. For some wonderful reason, it's been on every week night at 11:30PM, so I've had the chance to catch up on the episodes I've missed.

But about half way through the program, I heard LOUD thuds and bumps coming from the bedroom. I called the girls and they didn't come. So I quickly went to investigate.

In spite of the screen being 'nailed' on, and the window only being open about 2 inches, Lucy had managed to push out the top of the screen. Then get herself caught between the window and the lower aspect of the screen, which was holding strong.

I gently extracted her, something she did not take kindly too. Then I looked around for Ethel to make sure she hadn't made it outside. They were none the worse for it.

But it pointed up the fact that they are now almost 3 years old, HEALTHY (at last), have had all their shots, have been trained to come at the sound of the 'snack' can shaking, and want to get OUT. And there is no reason now for me to not introduce them to the big world out there. After all, they ARE cats!

It's bad enough that I'm almost 'housebound', I have never seen any reason for The Sisters to be locked in this small apartment with me forever. In fact, as I go around the complex and see cats on patio rails, or lying in the sun, I have wished that for my two Sisters.

I must admit though, I am anxious and overprotective, they were so sick for so long. And they have never, ever been outside. And I have no $$$ for vets should there be an accident or incident of some kind.

But, tomorrow I will order Advantage ($56. 'gulp' - but enough for a year), and hopefully, we can start going out, first on the patio, next week!

Nancy Pelosi - Off to a great start?

I just posted this response to Nancy Pelosi first 'actions' as Speaker of the House in banning smoking near the House Floor at: The Lede Blog (NY Times). I don't know if it will be posted, edited, or deleted. And since there was no place to leave the url of THIS blog, I am also posting it here, word for word as entered.

I'm a smoker, have no intentions of quitting, I am 60, and I live in
California.

I do NOT believe the GOVERNMENT backed HYSTERIA regarding second hand smoke. (Maybe they should take care of our 'air' and 'groundwater'?)

Otherwise, ALL in my generation would be DEAD, as would our children, which is just common sense, if second-hand smoke is such a 'killer'.

(Has anyone ever heard of 'air filters'? So set up smoking areas, that the non-smoking don't have to enter, that contain good air filters! How's that for common sense AND accomodation? What IS the big deal?)

So, it's OK for my grandchildren to die at a college frat party from overdosing on booze. And for them to be sent to Iraq and die or be maimed for life. But if they light up a cigarrette, even in an outdoor beach or ball stadium, a lynch mob will form! Believe me, it's about come to that in California.

Nancy Pelosi is just REFLECTING California's current, socially approved, give them something to blame, give them SOMEONE (a group they can discriminate against) fad.

I would like to add, that I truely believe this. You can't blame the rich, poor, fat, minorities, women, gays & lesbians, big industry, the media, anymore for anything. There HAS to be someone to blame - smokers are it!

Hoagies and Christmas Cookies

Today I not only got dressed, I went to Vons to use my ‘gift card’ (the only X-mas gift I got this year!). It's only the second time I've been out of the complex since 12.21.06! (Both times since 1.3.06)

I didn’t have the energy to ‘fool around’, no window shopping at other stores. No getting a Starbucks coffee; no chatting with folks. I got the bus, went to the one store, got what I needed, and took the bus home.

Besides Milk, and a couple of other staples (you can’t carry much on a wheel chair), I finally got my Christmas cookies! (Having completely missed out on all the winter holidays this year, I was feeling more than a little deprived!) I was thrilled to find a display of stale, on sale, bakery Christmas cookies! Oh joy!

I also got a deli Hoagie sandwich! In the past few weeks, I’ve mainly eaten Slim Fast shakes, sandwiches, scrambled eggs & toast, cereal, frozen entrees, adding cottage cheese, canned fruit or veggies, and pudding and gelatin cups. So that stack of pre-made deli Hoagies looked like heaven to me.

I was exhausted when I got home. Had to lie down and rest awhile, but not for long, not hours. But trip didn't seem to make pain in my leg worse...

Then I had that entire Hoagie for dinner. No cutting it and saving half for another meal. No adding a cup of fruit or diet Jello, or counted out chips. Just the sandwich, the whole thing, which I was delighted to find, had a few slices of Jalapeno on it! Nothing else, just a cold cola, and that entire sandwich! Every bite was wonderful. Then hours later, before I went to bed, I had a glass of milk and a whole handful (maybe 6?), Christmas Cookies. Not a very good Diabetic meal plan. But then again - maybe I’ll live to plan diabetic meals another day...

Parathyroid Hormones 101

This morning I awoke in ‘the position’; hands in tight fists, arms curled in to chest, head drawn back. This hasn’t happened in a long time, months probably. Though it took a while to ‘loosen’ muscles and uncurl, at this point in time, it’s a good occurrence. (not always the case!).

This ‘Tetany’ sign signifies that my ionized calcium is going down. And is probably why I’ve been, ohhh so gradually, feeling a little better day by day.

Now ionized calcium measurements are funny things. Since my first Parathyroid surgery at age 27 in 1972, I’ve learned, often the hard way, that my ionized calcium level can actually be quite high or low, irrespective of the usually measured Serum Calcium level.

I don’t know why, but docs and ER’s tend to only do a Serum Calcium, which in reality tells them little. Because if it is high or low, they have to investigate further; and being ‘normal’ doesn’t mean that cellular calcium (ionized) is! (nor the Vitamin D levels).

Usually, I keep track of these labs, but in the past few months, I have not. I have just been too ill to care. I do not know if with any of the 3 recent PTH tests done, if ionized calcium or Vitamin D tests were included.

This ParaThyroid Hormone function in my body is a complete mystery. Not only the question of WHERE it’s coming from, since I have surgeons, Sestamibi scan, etc, saying I no longer have ANY Parathyroid Glands. But also the fact that it seems to ‘sputter’. At times it makes way too much and I suffer from Hyperparathyroidism. Then, suddenly, without warning, it will STOP, or reduce output drastically, and I’ll suffer Hypoparathyroidism, which can be a REAL emergency.

Since it’s the PTH that controls the Calcium levels (ionized included), in the body, and I awoke with these Tetany like symptoms this morning (no ‘other’ or continued symptoms of Tetany today), I’m assuming that my ionized calcium, therefore my PTH levels are going down.

In fact, I KNOW that to be the case, as I’m gradually feeling better. I can only hope that it doesn’t go TOO low. Though given my ‘druthers’, I’d rather be low. I think it’s easier to ‘deal’ with.

Boy, would I like to get off THIS roller coaster!

Feeling better...

I was able to get dressed today (but no shower or anything else). And take the bus the 10-12 blocks to the strip mall. And the wonderful ATM.

The energy expended just to get to the bus stop was such that by the time I got there, I was suffering a mild headache, and moderate nausea. I considered going home. But it was sunny, and not too cold, and I'd made it TO the bus stop, so... It wasn't long however before I was regretting my decision.

The wheelchair lift on the bus would NOT work to let me OFF. The bus emptied out, the driver called in for advice, and still the lift wouldn't work. I thought, for awhile, that I was gonna be stuck on that bus forever (wasn't there an old folk song like that?). Finally, after repositioning the bus in relation to the curb several times, turning bus off and on several times (to reset equipment, etc), I was finally able to, gratefully, descend to the sidewalk.

On to the ATM, where I got a little cash to keep on hand (for disabled transit and or to send someone for milk).

Then to Long's where I spent too much money. (You should never shop while really ill - you're judgement is NOT good.) But since I'd literally had NO Christmas nor New Years, I got myself some stuff: 4 pr of socks (my feet have been freezing in this cold), a box of chocolate covered cherries, Sensodyne for my aching teeth (need to get to a dentist - but have been too ill), batteries for my Deltec Cozmoniter (I go though about one a week!), batteries for my portable radio (have been dead for 3 months), a package of bran muffins (WITH raisins!), and a package of swiss cheese to go with some ham I have. Imagine my shock at the check stand; $40!!!

Went right home and went to bed...

While I was lying in bed, exhausted, and watching Law & Order Reruns, it occurred to me that I'd been in a 'stupor' for the past 3 weeks, and for whatever reason, was now getting better. Why I'm getting better, I don't know; perhaps the extra vitamin pills, or the sunlight, or trying to eat more. I can only hope the trend continues.

Scrambled some eggs to go with a bran muffin for dinner, leaving the dishes on the stove and counter. Fed the cats. Now here I am, trying to stay out of bed; but I'm so tired, and had about an hour of pretty bad muscle pain in upper legs and arms, I know I'll be there soon.

I'm just so thankful that I was able to 'take care of business' even if I spent way too much money. And that I finally got off that bus! And that darn lab work will HAVE to be in soon. And that I can go back to bed with the TV now...

New Year's Day 2007

Not a particularly good day, physically, but not as bad as some have been in last few weeks.

But to show how ill I've been, I didn't even think to get a donut and watch the Rose Parade this morning. Perhaps the first time in all my adult years.

I am so tired, and so weak, I can hardly do anything. My balance and gait is off, so I nearly fall several times a day (I hate staying in wheel chair all the time, but if I don't, my left leg and ankle get much worse) Have off and on nausea, headache. The muscles in upper arms hurt so bad, actually feels like they've 'ruptured'. I get horrible cramps in my hands and feet, and hips, especially at night. I feel feint, lightheaded, most of the time. Every once in awhile, for a few hours, I have what I've learned to call over the years, 'mini-blackouts' ie for a split second I'm gone; (I think this has something to do with all the near falls.) I haven't had these in years. Not to mention, my thinking is often 'fuzzy', and slow, definitely not my usual decisive self.

I've not even been out of the apartment complex since 12.21.06 when I went to UCSD Pearlman Clinic to have blood drawn! Two or three times a week, I make it to the trash bin and/or the the mailbox.

I've been so sick, I've not even been able to get to the ATM to make a deposit. So I had to get a Direct Deposit Advance to order groceries online for delivery ($200 - and I'll have to pay back $220!). But had no other choice, was out of everything, and couldn't get to the ATM to make a deposit. Still haven't, no real hurry now - the damage is already done.

I've been so sick at times that had I had someone living with me, they would have either taken me to an ER, or called 911!

Now I realize that all this could be from something other than hyperparathyroidism, but since I've BTDT, I think not.

The good news?

-The damn holidays are OVER. I can call, email, see my docs! And I'm gonna start doing that first thing in the morning. I want some answers; I want TREATMENT. No one should have to live (survive) like this for weeks on end.

-I have a new IP. She's efficient and NICE. So at least I have help for 2 hrs. twice a week, for awhile, till she finds something better!

-I do feel just a little better, for whatever reason the last few days. I am mostly out of bed, if miserable. (I've been trying to get out in the sun for 20 min. a day, when it's not overcast. And I've doubled up on my daily, non-mineral containing vitamin.)

-I've lost 5.5 pounds this month. But during the past week have actually been trying to NOT diet, but to eat MORE, in the hopes I'd feel better.

-The results of the last PTH test should be in THIS WEEK, and we can move on from there, depending on the results.

And ohhh, yea, Happy New Year everyone!