The Advent of Salvation by Water

After 182 days of dry, a record breaker by 1 day in this city, we have finally entered our 'Rainy Season'; first with sprinkles two days ago, then with showers, some heavy, yesterday. This afternoon, a real storm is expected.

The change of our seasons always means a subtle change in ME and the way I live my life!

The Rainy Season brings forth a feeling of wellness in me, perhaps because of my innate tendency to 'nest'. I slow down, don't push myself to 'produce', or at least not in the same way. My 'focus' moves away from the external world, to my world: my apartment, plants, cats, kitchen, etc.

Of course, I continue working. And at my usual pace. It just doesn't seem so hectic. I also won't hesitate a second to take a break to enjoy the current weather, as you have to make room in your schedule for it, NOT vice versa, or you will miss it all. You can't schedule a storm!

Because it is so much cooler once the Rainy Season sets in, I actually cook stuff; beans, stews, chili, biscuits, and other goodies. It's something I not only enjoy, but am pretty good at. Cooking is foolish to try in the heat of the summer; in the summer, real cooking is a chore; in the Rainy Season, it's a joy.

Sleep is better also; I sleep much better to the sound of rain. Not to mention those indulgent afternoon naps, snuggled under a blanket with a cat or two at the bottom of the bed.

I also seem to make more time for reading those mystery novels I love, always with a cat in my lap, or nearby. Reading seems more appropriate during the Rainy Season, and not the time waster it often feels like at other times of the year.

Then there is the hot chocolate, preferably with a big marshmallow floating on the top! In the midst of a storm, or when you've just come in, damp and chilled from the wet; you can have this wonderful treat from your childhood without the guilt of carbs, calories, or cholesterol! I like to take a mug of it out on the partially protected patio, sit and watch the storm do it's thing.

And if you feel you must go out, (cabin fever can set in!) a rainy day is the absolute best time to go to the zoo, Sea World, Disney, or any other attraction! Fewer people go; lines are much shorter. Having to deal with rain gear, and getting soaked somehow adds to the fun.

One of my all time favorite things to do at this time of year, and it's free, is to go to the beach when it's really storming. You can't plan it; you have to be ready, and willing, to go when the right storm happens along. With the wind blowing, the thunder, lightning, rain, and wild high surf, you can't tell the air, from the rain, from the fog, from the ocean. A violent and surreal experience.

But then, my entire life has been exactly that!

Gone w/the whatever

Preparing for the arrival of the new wheelchair!

-I have exactly $49 left in bank, so tomorrow am going to buy a book of disabled transit tickets (10=5 round trips) for $45. It takes about a week to get them in the mail. And I will have them in hand ready to go.

-Monday I'll make a couple of doctor appointments; Hematologist, Urologist/Oncologist, for starters! Maybe Breast surgeon...

It usually takes 2-4 days to fully 'deep' charge new batteries, and get the 'feel' of using a different chair. So by a week from next Monday, I should be 'good to go'.

I feel like Scarlet O'Hara; because I swear I will never be in this position again! In next two years, I will find the bucks somehow, someway (perhaps I'll even feel well enough to write?) to have the OLD chair repaired for a 'back-up' and will buy a new walker (and maybe even feel strong enough to walk outside again)!

To be SOOO sick just because ya can't get to a doc is absolutely ridiculous! Not when I've spent my entire life being ill and now there's a chance to feel WELL. I had no idea that Medicare wouldn't just do any NEEDED repairs on chair in a fairly timely manner. But, it turns out, NOT when the chair is out of warranty!!!

Hah, NOW I know (what a terrible way to learn)...And I won't be caught w/my pants down again!

Full Blown Iron Overload

After MONTHS now without a visit to the Hematologist or a Therapeutic Phlebotomy; I'm very ILL again.

I am suffering from: severe fatigue and weakness, cold white digits, joint & muscle pain, intermittent shortness of breath, brain fog, vertigo, choking, uncontrolled diabetes, easy bruising & bleeding, and all the other lovely stuff of Iron Overload.

I think the 'brain fog' is the most disturbing to me. (Though the joint and muscle pain are also bad.) Brain Fog is also the most frightening, though my experience tells me this particular symptom will totally disappear with treatment. Often I briefly can't think of how I usually perform a task, have to stop and cogitate on it. Or I can't remember a word, or how to spell it. Not a good thing for a writer!

I believe I'm as ill now as I was just before the 'final' diagnosis of Hereditary Hemochromatosis was made. The difference being, NOW I know what is wrong and how much treatment will change all this; therefore I have a better physical, social, and emotional tolerance for it.

Still, the days are just kinda blurring into each other. (What a waste of life! And I resent it big time!) Each one just a little sicker & less functional than the one before.

I'm probably spending 3/4 of my time now either lying in bed or just sitting. The other 1/4 of my time I spend DECIDING what I need to do next, then PLANNING out how I am gonna get the task accomplished. It's amazing how complicated things like taking a shower, or cooking something can be (by the way, can NOT do both these things in the same day!).

If someone were to actually follow me around for a day, they'd be 'shocked & stunned'. They'd want to put me in a hospital, mental institution or at least hire me a full-time help!

It's a really 'good' day if I can:
1) get dressed & brush my hair
2) take care of the kitties
3) do ONE 'major' chore ie shower, cook, etc.
4) do ONE 'elective' chore ie get mail & empty trash, load dishwasher, do a load of laundry.
5) do ONE 'fun' item ie water plants, do some writing, etc.

I'd be absolutely hysterical if the NEW wheelchair wasn't arriving SOON (maybe the end of this very week, but definitely by the next!).

Of course, it will probably take 6 - 8 weekly visits (at $10 each for transportation!) to the Hematologist to get my Hemoglobin/Hematicrit back down to normal. And from past experience, I will start feeling 'gradually' better (just as I got gradually so ill), as soon as this process starts.

But at least, I'll be on the 'up' side of this thing (again)! And when that happens, one of the FIRST things I must do is to find a person & the bucks to have old wheelchair 'fixed' AND buy a new rolling walker, so that I'm NEVER, NEVER, EVER in this position again!!!

And so goes the 'current' days of my life...

Fickle Fate Strikes Again

I should have known...

The day AFTER spending a couple of hours of actually working on a poem, I had all kinds of weird, strange, and unusual computer problems. So I used what time I wasn't flat out in bed from exhaustion, trying to make 'puter work.

Luckily, a friend had just sent me a NEW USB optical mouse and pad. But that wasn't the only prob. For some reason, my 'fan' had stopped working and the CPU had really overheated. I was able to leave it off for a few hours; and when I did a cold boot, the fan was again working. But THAT is something I am really gonna have to watch; not only don't want a fire, don't want my HD melted!

The bottom line was that I was completely unable to do anything on the computer; shopping, hobby, email, etc for awhile. So frustrating. Sigh, I need a new computer (and a laptop, and a PDA)

Clean Clothes!

I now have some clean clothes - and am working on having MORE clean clothes.

I borrowed the $206 (including tax & shipping) to buy it; but I just felt I had no other option. (Of course, would have liked to get a 'bigger' one, or even a stack washer/dryer unit, but that is completely out of my current financial reach. In fact, it will be difficult for me to pay what I borrowed, back.) Still, if this little washer only lasts me a year, it would be a terrific bargain.

This may be the smallest apartment sized automatic washing machine made: capacity 4.9 lbs. It connects to the kitchen faucet, and drains into the sink.

It arrived Wednesday afternoon via the wonderful brown truck. I managed to get it out of it's box, but I was unable to do the few things it needed to make it functional.

Thursday, a friend came over and finished 'installing' it; the hoses and 'quick release' faucet connection had to be assembled, and leg covers that would allow me to slide the washer on the kitchen floor to the sink, had to be added.

I've been 'washing' ever since! (And believe me, everything I had was dirty, as I've been unable to find & hire an independent Provider.)

It doesn't hold much at a time; a couple of towels, a pair of slacks, a blouse, a pair of socks is about it for one load. But it does a full 'cycle'; wash, 2 rinses, and spin drains. I can do load after load, so it's lack of capacity is only a small inconvenience!

Today I managed to 'string' two 'clotheslines between two bookcases in my living room and without blocking either the front door or the line of site to the television!. (Lucy & Ethel, the 6 month old kittens think this is just great fun!) As I write this, I have about 10 various sized towels hanging there to dry. Clothes I hang on clothes hangers on the molding of doorways.

Sure brings back memories of my childhood and those rough Missouri winters, with clean clothes hanging all over the house to dry, from clotheslines strung anywhere they could put 'em up!

I've gotten nothing ELSE done. Am absolutely worn out; all my energy (and then some) has been used up. But it's worth it.

Independence, even a modicum of it, is a great thing...