Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Hope & Awe!

As the days pass and I feel just a little better (most) days, and reclaim just a little more of my life (function) each day, I am absolutely filled with awe...

Yes, there are still days when I have to lie down for awhile, but not often! And every day, I need to rest a bit between chores or activities. And I can still get 'unfocused' about my tasks. BUT...

I get dressed every day, fix my hair, put on earrings, slap on some lipstick! I do little dabs of laundry in my tiny washer, hanging wet stuff all over. I do some dishes or cooking when needed. I get my mail. Make phone calls. Every few days, I do a major chore, sweep the floors, change the bed, etc.

With my new wheelchair I am able to go to doctor appointments, do my banking, do minor shoping (I order groceries twice a month online and they are delivered), etc.

As time passes, my apartment is getting cleaner and less cluttered and more organized. (This despite the fact I haven't found a 'caregiver' to hire - this would help immensely!), Unfortunately, everything does pile up before I get to it - but I DO get to it, eventually. Last year, or for the past 5 yrs, I couldn't have said that.

It's just amazing to me! After so many years of debilitating illness; I am actually starting to get a 'life' back. AND LOVING IT! And with life, comes hope, and plans for the future.

For YEARS, I was so ill, indeed for most of my life, and not understanding how other people DID life. Now not a day goes by that I don't say to myself, "No wonder other people have jobs, homes, spouses. If they feel like this just part of the time..."!!!

Hope & Awe!


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Friday, January 14, 2005

Haircut!

Today I finally did it!!!

I've been considering it for quite some time, but didn't want to make the decision during all those months I was feeling so terrible. No, that's not a good time to make big decisions...

Today I went from very long hair (over 12 inches from the ponytail!) to very, very, VERY short. (I want to get clippers and see if I can maintain the the 'DO' by myself!) And the cut hair was donated to: http://www.locksoflove.org/

I just felt that my long, long, hair was taking up far too much of my time and energy. Goodness, after I got out of the shower from washing my hair, it took me an hour to comb all the tangles out! Really! My hair was so long and so very curly.

On top of that, it basically took about an hour a day for brushing and grooming it!

Now that I'm starting to feel better, I want to get in the pool! Often! (The docs keep telling me to do 'water walking', whatever THAT is.) And trying to deal with my hair AFTER a trip to the pool AND a shower, was a energy nightmare. I know, I have tried 2 - 3 times during the past year as I gradually felt better.

So I wheeled out of that hair salon lighter all the way around, in hair and spirit. The first thing I noticed? My earrings swinging again!



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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

More Adventures with the Rescue Kitties!

You're not gonna believe this one!

I noticed last week that Lucy (one of my two 'rescue' 8 mo. old sister kittens) was a little lethargic. It's gotten gradually worse. Every once in awhile, she'd 'cry out', like something was hurting. But they are both eating/drinking/going potty just fine thank you...but I was wondering about the possibility of another ear infection.

My two rescue kitties CAME with an upper respiratory infection that they've been battling ever since. At various times, because their immune systems aren't working well, (I sure know that feeling!) they've had bacterial eye and ear, infections. And pneumonia. They've been through treatment w/oral antibiotic 2x, IM penicillin x 1, eye antibiotic x 2. (Which I've managed to PAY for w/the help of my friends!!!) These kittens have never even been well enough to get their 'routine' immunizations!

As they've aged, they've gradually improved, health wise, as the vets told me they would. And I thought perhaps I was at the 'end' of it and was saving my nickels to get their shots next month.

Today I went to my routine appt. w/my Ophthalmologist (to check on what diabetes is doing to my eyes), and it turns out that I have an eye infection!!! I was prescribed eye drops for daytime, ointment for night, for two weeks and then have to return to the doctor. The only symptoms I had were mildly burning/itching eyes that felt 'swollen'; I thought I'd been in front of the computer monitor too much!

I mentioned to the eye doc that my two cats had had eye infections a couple of times and could we be 'passing' it back and forth. He said it was 'not likely' but COULD BE possible. (btw, I've never in my life had an eye infection!)

Well, when I got home, Lucy had one very swollen and goopy eye, and was even more lethargic. So I called the vet. He is coming tomorrow. I mentioned to him that I had just been diagnosed with an eye infection. Could we be passing it back and forth??? He said it was unlikely, but not impossible.

As most of ya know, I live on a very fixed and limited income, am in a wheelchair, do not have a car, or access to anyone to take the cats TO a vet (besides they haven't had their distemper shots yet). My vet comes HERE. Which means he is pricey, actually downright expensive!

I estimate (based on past experience) that tomorrow, to have both cats seen, get oral antibiotics for each for 2 weeks, and ditto eye drops, is gonna run $300 minimum ($150 for 'visit' and meds for each kitty), which I will have to borrow. On top of which, I'll have to pay 10% interest on what I borrow from bank!!!

Plus, vet has been telling me all along, kitties need high powered daily vitamins for several months, till over viral whatever, and I've never been able to afford...

So now, we're ALL gonna be on eye meds!!!

And I'm asking for your help with these unexpected vet bills...

Please help if ya can!!!

And if ya can't, believe me, I understand!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Grass

Since my two kittens, Lucy & Ethel are now 8 month old teens, and inside cats, I decided to plant them a 'garden of greens' since I do have a 'green thumb'.

So I wheeled down to the pet store and purchased a package of 'mixed' grass seed for cats (and birds, etc).

I planted some in a four inch square pot and left it on the patio to root. It grew despite the very cool weather we've been having. I was pleased with myself!

When the little blades of grass were about 4 inches tall, I thought the roots would be deep enough to withstand a little tugging and chewing.

I brought the pot into the apartment, set it on a saucer, and put the whole thing in the middle of the dining room table.

The kittens found it immediately! And they chewed the new plants halfway down in about 10 minutes, then wandered off contentedly to wash little paws and whiskers.

A couple of hours later, I noticed that the plants had been gnawed down to nubs! So I seeded a second pot
and set it to growing on the patio. Still being pleased with myself, I went to bed.

I saw the mess the first thing the next morning as I passed by the dining room table to switch the coffeepot on. The planter of kitty grass had been turned over. There were wet clods of dirt, thick smears of mud, and little drooping plant roots scattered about the table. But that wasn't the worst of it!

Somehow, the kittens had managed to actually pull the entire root ball OUT of the planter, drag it off the table onto the carpet! It actually took me two days to get it all cleaned up!

Lucy & Ethel loved the Kitty Grass. And I knew they needed it. But obviously, I needed to rethink this whole idea...

I hunted till I found just the right planter, a big, deep, oblong job that cost me $1.49 at the Dollar Store. I brought it home, filled it half full of heavy rocks to not only weight it down, but to provide drainage. I added the potting mix, then planted the grass seeds.

When the grass was well established, I brought it in the apartment, it was so heavy, I could hardly lift it. I placed it on a large tray on the bottom shelf of a bookcase.

Now Lucy & Ethel can go 'graze' anytime they choose. They always have fresh 'greens' and I have a minimum of mess, a few chewed off strands of grass here and there around the planter. All I have to do is water it once in awhile, and add a few seeds when it starts looking a little bare.

I'm definitely pleased with myself!!!



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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Unthought of Catastophe

I thought I'd lived through, seen, heard of all the worst Nature could serve up: blizzards, tornados, heat, earthquakes, (luckily I've missed out on hurricanes, never lived in that part of the country).

But the recent earthquake and following Tsunami that struck Eastern Asia is actually beyond words. Even the pictures on the television news networks can't portray what the people there are suffering.

At some point during each day, I have to turn off the televison, put down the newspaper, or my heart would break...



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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Peace And

The Holidays are over, again. And I'm glad. I loathe to 'wish' time away, as the old saying goes; but I do, each year during the entire holiday season.

It's not that I get depressed, or even blue, not anymore at least. But since I have no family, in the usual sense of the term; I don't celebrate. So the holidays are just a reminder to me of what I don't have, no longer have, or have lost. And oh, there has been so very much loss through the years!

Yes, I think that the holidays bring for me 'an awareness of loss'.

And since I don't 'celebrate', except in my heart, my life goes on, as usual. And all these days of offices and businesses being closed, and/or operating on 'short' hours, distresses me. I have to put much on hold because OTHERS celebrate...

I don't begrudge others their celebrations. No, in fact I wish them joy and peace; but I'm glad the world has returned to normal (so to speak).



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