Hummingbird Rescue

The cats spotted it first. Then I went to the sliding screen door to see what was so riveting to them.

Out of the corner of one eye, I saw a slight 'fluttering'. It took me a few seconds to spot the 'problem', mainly because it was well into dusk.

A male Costa's Hummingbird, one of the breeds common to my feeder, was on the patio floor, flapping around frantically. He kept trying to fly, but for some reason, just couldn't take to the air. He seemed exhausted and was breathing heavily, almost panting.

Since I've had a Hummer Feeder for YEARS, this kind of incident has happened to me before. Still, I didn't have a good feeling about this time, as I could see no obvious reason for this bird to be on my patio in this condition. You always have to try though, or at least I do.

I isolated the cats while I attended to the bird, which they were not at all happy about. I got out an old, small bird cage I keep in a storage closet for just such occasions. (I also have a small creature keeper, an animal crate, and a small fish bowl - you just never know, or at least I don't.)

With a soft clean cloth, I was able to pick up the bird, which HE was not happy about, and get him safely into the cage. He just laid on the cage floor, on his side, breathing heavily, half hidden under the cloth. I put the cage in a quite, safe place and checked on it often. I had grave doubts about his status.

After awhile, of 'resting' he got off his side, got his feet under him. A good sign. I waited about 5 minutes more before offering him 'nectar' in a dropper. (I MUST get one of those water bottles with a drinking tube that rodents use! I keep forgetting!)

He ignored the dropper and I actually put one little drop of nectar on the end of that tiny beak. A few minutes later, I tried to get him to take the nectar again, with the same result. By now there were several small drops of reddish nectar on the cage floor, right in front of the Hummer. I was hoping he'd notice it and drink, he didn't. I was beginning to have grave doubts about this little creature surviving the long night if it wouldn't 'eat'.

Hummingbirds use so much energy, especially in a 'stress' situation, they can actually get into some kind of metabolic crisis state and die if their reserves aren't replenished immediately. I was afraid this might be the case with this bird. If only I'd found him sooner!

Ahhh, but a few minutes more, when I again offered him the dropper of nectar, he got the idea and stuck his beak right into the dropper itself and actually drank a little. We repeated this procedure a couple of times at intervals of about 5 minutes. I was feeling better about the Hummer's chances of survival.

Then, suddenly, he shook out his feathers and jumped up to the perch! I was elated! Even in the approaching dark, I could see the green and red of him almost shining in what light was still available.

Just before full dark, I gave him some more nectar from the dropper, which by now he was taking eagerly. Then I held the cage up next to the hanging feeder (it has perches) and opened the cage door. He jumped right from the cage perch to the feeder, fed well, then took flight, steady and sure, into the wild. I felt so good.

I left the bird cage where Lucy and Ethel could see and smell it. They were happy cats for a few hours.

I was worn out by now, but I'd done something some good this day! A little life helped...

My 'other' Grandsons!

I recently did something that I've been waiting a long 18 years to do!

My two oldest grandchildren: Russell Harris (now 19) and Christopher Harris (now 18) were adopted by a couple on the East Coast, Russell at birth, Christopher when he was about 2 months old.

Everyone in my family strongly objected to these adoptions. This family has ALWAYS taken IN children. If adoptions were truly necessary, they were done 'within' the family, not adopted out to strangers!

These were 'open adoptions'. Both boys went to the same couple. I had their address and phone number but I painfully came to the decision that it would be in the best interest of my Grandsons to not contact them till they were of age. But once they were...

These 'lost' Grandsons have often been in my thoughts. And, I've watched the calendar as these boys aged year by year. Once in awhile checking on the address and phone number, making sure it was current. Luckily for me (and the boys), the adoptive couple was stable and stayed put.

This last month, the youngest, Christopher, turned 18. And I called the adoptive parents. I spoke to the Adoptive Father. Introduced myself. Told him Christopher's story. Gave them the information regarding HH. Gave the adoptive father my address and phone number.

I told the adoptive father that I wished to have some kind of contact with these young men, if they so chose. And he SAID that he would give them the information (he did sound open, sincere, interested, and responsive).

Now I am in a position to send my grandsons snail mail! To send birthday and holiday cards. It doesn't really matter if they respond or not, though of course it would warm my heart if they did. Perhaps someday, I can even meet them, talk to them in person, learn what kind of people they are.

My 'lost' Grandsons are lost to me no longer...

Waiting, waiting, waiting

My blood sugars are NOT under good control, and haven't been for some time. I suffer from the X Syndrome (well, I don't have high blood pressure), the result is poor blood sugar control, weight increase, cholesterol increase, etc.

I also have neuropathy. I have to take Liquid Erythromycin before I eat anything sold, or my stomach will not process my food to match my insulin intake. And I have almost constant pain/burning in my fingers and toes.

For the past few years, like millions of others, I've been seeking solutions.

A couple of years ago, I became aware that one might be on the horizon, at least for some of us, and perhaps for me!

Byetta, by Amalyn pharmaceuticals, has been developed, went through multiple trials, was submitted to the FDA for approval. And it WAS approved on April 30th, 2005. It will be available by rx, in pharmacies on 6/1/05.

I can't begin to understand Byetta, but apparently, it is still one more naturally occurring hormone (like insulin), that the pancreas normally manufactures in folks who do NOT have Diabetes.

It is an injectable (pen form) and has to be used twice a day. It helps to control blood sugar on a long term basis (don't know if I will still have to take insulin). And get this, the side effects include lowered appetite and weight loss!!! (Well, sure, if your blood sugars are normal, you are not nearly as hungry!) Side effects I think I can deal with!

To top it off, it contains no preservatives I'm allergic to (zinc allergy means there's a lot of insulins I can't take).

Now, I've been SO patient though all this waiting. Much of the time early on in it's development, I didn't even allow myself HOPE. But now, the closer it gets, the more I want it! Now! Today!!! My patience is worn out and I don't want to wait this final couple of weeks before I can finally get this med. So much so, that I've emailed my Endocrinologist TWICE this month. Luckily, she is tolerant and puts up with me...

An almost summer eve

Not only did I not 'work' today, I got to socialize and eat out this evening.

A neighbor fired up the grill and we had wonderful 'carne asda'. And all the goodies to go with: big onion rolls, corn on the cob, potato salad, and watermelon. (Surprisingly, I made pretty good food choices, and DIDN'T eat too much. I even remembered that BBQ Sauce had a lot of sugar in it, and passed.)

After dinner was as good, if not better, than the meal. The men migrated inside to the TV. The women sat out in the coolish pre-summer evening under an almost full moon, around this huge barrel grill, which did a terrific imitation of a bonfire. We talked and shared stories, and laughed for a couple of hours.

I could do that almost EVERY evening...

WHAT IF every non smoker developed Alzheimer's?

There have been studies that point to smoking being a deterrent to Alzheimer's.

In my own family, the only two people who developed AD were female, life-long, non-smokers.

Do your own research! Here is a good starting place:

http://www.forces.org/evidence/carol/carol16.htm

Another Mother's Day Alone

Another's Mothers Day passed without hearing from either of my adult children; Lisa and John Robert. Nor any of my Grandchildren.

Not a card, a call, or an email.

Even though it's what I expected, it always causes me retrospection. The thing is: I was not an addict, we were never homeless, I never re-married nor moved a lover in, they were not malnourished and I think the only bruises they had were from falling off swings!

We went to week-end movies, picnics, celebrated holidays, sold girl scout cookies, my son went camping with boy scouts a couple of times. They had childhood friends, played outside with trikes, bikes, and bigwheels.

My kids had a lot of love, and personal attention from me. Plus I always managed to somehow get their basic needs met. I always put them FIRST. In fact, I probably still do.

Yes, I could have been a BETTER mother. But I absolutely did the best I could being a single mom with some pretty severe medical problems, always living below the poverty level, and with absolutely NO help or guidance (all our relatives died or disappeared, before they were pre-teens).

You would think that all the above circumstances would have brought us close, made us a tight little family. It did, but only while they were children.

Early this Mother's Day morning, while half-awake, and trying to decide whether to roll over and go back to sleep or to get up; I heard Dr. Dodson on the radio.

He said that children learn to respect and value their Mothers, THROUGH their Fathers, by seeing their Dads do exactly that. (And I would assume, OTHER close relatives.)

That brought me wide awake! It was mind boggling. A concept I'd never heard or thought of. Instantly, I realized that my children had had 'no one else' to view me though. No one to teach them to love, value, or accept their Mother.

Their, alcoholic for years father, though present in the background (when he felt like playing the role), and paying a very minimum of child support, never did anything but deride me in front of them.

So, obviously they never learned that so important lesson. Even though in their childhoods they saw me value, respect, and help others. I did teach them that. And they do. They care about almost everyone but me.

Though I've repeatedly, and in many ways, let them know that I am their Mother and I love them & need them in my life. And in these 'later' years, sadly, I've 'reacted' to their behaviour rather than 'acting' as I normally would (another way to teach them?), probably a 'last resort' tatic.

I've also been there for them as adults, when they needed me, if only on the phone, or being a safe place to stay for a few months.

I've pointed out that I didn't treat MY relatives in such a way; that they SAW me love and care for their grandmother. I've also pointed out that THEY are teaching their children how to treat THEM. All to no avail.

There is nothing I can do; I can't make them love, and care about me. They are adults now, middle-aged actually, so they are consciously making choices about how they treat me, how they live their lives.

And there is nothing I can do about it except continue to love them, and keep them in my thoughts. Once every few years, I get out their 'boxes' of childhood keepsakes: baby books, favorite toys, locks of hair, and spend hours remembering and crying.

Now, thanks to Dr. Dodson, and the serendipity of waking to a radio 'moment', there is finally some understanding and closure for me as a Mother. It is not my fault that my children do not love me. (Other than in the choice of the man I fell in love with and married. An error in judgment I've paid dearly for ever since.)

My life goes on, without THAT one specific guilt, even if I'm still living with a broken heart...