It has been a Full Month since I received the ‘drop dead’ email from my daughter. (BTW, I keep that email in my 'inbox', and read it several times a day. Then I say a prayer...)
Though we had only had a handful of contacts since I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer, I enjoyed each one of them. During the short time she was around, she was a great help to me both physically and emotionally. Plus, I just plain enjoyed her company (I mostly always have), weather on the phone or in person.
Since she ‘cut me out of her life’ (again), I have emailed her, and left messages on her phone about twice a week. Alas, no response.
The thing is, I do not really know the ‘why’ of it. Nor why we cannot work out whatever the problems may be. In fact, I’m currently working privately with a MFCC who would be more than willing to work with BOTH of us, hopefully towards a resolution.
I do know I love my daughter, always have. I have tried to be there for her when she has needed me.
I also know that after my own Mom passed, I had few, if any ‘regrets’ as I spent time with her daily, took her to doc appointments, laughed with her, talked with her, watched TV with her, learned how to take care of her once she was bed bound (give pain shots, turn her in bed, etc). I also saw to it that she saw her grandchildren as often as possible. We (my kids) and I even had a ‘last’, sad and weepy, very difficult, Christmas Eve and Christmas with her in our apartment.
I cannot help feeling that my own daughter is not going to be in that position, and will have regrets the rest of her life, if we do not get some of these issues resolved. And no parent wants that visited on a child…
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