Ides of March

Julius Caesar was assassinated on this date in 44 BC, after being warned by a soothsayer, Beware the Ides of March. Or so Shakespeare made famous in his play JULIUS CEASAR.

In times past, it was also a day to settle debts. Rather ominous and dreary connotations.

But, this is my favorite day of the entire year!

Some enjoy the tastes and aromas of Thanksgiving, leaves changing colors, and Jack Frost at the windows.

Other people prefer Christmas, and the gifts, family gatherings, and snow.

Still others look forward to the religious aspects of Easter and bunnies and colored eggs and new hats.

For me, it's the Ides of March, has been since I was old enough to realize what it signified for me. March 15th - Winter is almost over, Spring is REALLY on the horizon. And, Summer will soon follow. These are my seasons, sun, heat, long days, growing things, picnics, and baseball.

Today was picture perfect; the middle of the day was unusually warm and sunny. The air was still and full of fragrance from newly blooming plants (All that rain!). The sky was cloudless and azure blue. Silence prevailed.

I sat in the sun, alone. I could actually feel summer sneaking up behind me. I remembered other March 15th's, was glad to be alive, and cogitated on all these things.

I think I hate docs!

Just found out a couple of hours ago that Mammo's done a month ago showed a 'pinkie fingernail' size 'something' in lt. breast (prior cancer was in right - but have had several biopsies in lt.). They are gonna compare w/old films from UCSD, if they can get 'em, but still another biopsy is probably in my soon future.

I realize it's prob just a cyst (though I've never had one); I just don't want to go through it! (Isn't it someone else's turn?)

And even this will not be simple, as it should be. I will have to seriously think about changing surgeons; The one hospital my surgeon is affiliated with no longer does the 'wire placing' stuff in their radiology (talk about discrimination towards women!). You have to go to a free standing facility two miles away, (fasting), have this done, travel to two miles to the hospital and be admitted for the cutting. I don't think so...

I am tired of docs! Contrary to popular belief, neither docs nor surgeries are on my list of hobbies. And these damn surgeons & their procedures are getting so rigid! It's their way or no way. Where are my 'druthers' as a person?

Needing a wheelchair, not having transportation, family, cat sitters, $$$, etc. makes the logistics of all these 'little medical' things stressful and difficult beyond belief.

Add to this the fact that I'm not a happy camper when separated from my ciggies, BY FORCE, under these type of extremely stressful situations, I tend to get a 'little' bitchy. And the docs and nurses and other staff, just don't get it...

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High on the Hog!

I love the first week or two after the SS check is deposited in my account! Boy, I just live high on the hog (which means you are able to eat ham instead of hocks!).

Last night I got the munchies while watching TV, wandered into the kitchen and actually FOUND something that tasted good AND was suitable for a diabetic. A far too infrequent happening.

I 'pigged' out on two cold baked chicken pieces, a bowl of diet gelatin, and a big glass of cold milk.

Usually I get to choose between a Bologna sandwich, toast and jam, or Little Debbies.

It's really nice having leftover meats and fresh gelatin in the kitchen. Wish it would happen more often.

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2nd Spay Update!

Ethel has been 'out' of estrus for almost 2 weeks now, and seems absolutely fine. No signs of any other physical problems, like cystitis or other infection.

I have cancelled the 2nd spay till she goes into heat again:
-Everyone tells me surgery would have more chance of success.
-And I am reluctant to 'hand' her over to the same person that erred in the first place.
-AND have been unable to locate the vet who did the initial surgery with the CA. License Board.

I am seeking:
-Referrals to qualified licensed vets who could do this procedure in the SD city area.
-Referrals to agencies that could pay for same.

If anyone has any ideas, please leave a comment!

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Ethel needs surgery, again!

The past week has been more than a little interesting, a week that’s required much ingenuity and patience on my part!

One of my 10 month old kittens, Ethel, started crying. No matter what I tried, food, play, petting, she’d start crying again almost immediately. Even though she was also eating, drinking, playing just fine, I quickly became frantic. I checked her from her black whiskers to the tip of her tail repeatedly, thinking she was ill or has somehow injured herself. I found nothing...

Now, she HAS done this a couple of times before, weeks apart, but mildly, just off and on, a few hours at a time really, and it only lasted a couple of days at most. Though each time it happened, it did seem to last longer, and get worse. I could never find a reason for it.

This time though, after a couple of days, the crying turned to frequent loud yowls! I was beside myself. I wondered if I should have the Vet see her, etc.

However, the morning after the actual yowls started, it finally clicked in my head. (Took long enough!) As I was going from the bedroom to the coffee pot, Ethel lay down on the carpet in front of my wheelchair. And she wouldn’t move; and I mean, SHE WOULDN’T MOVE, no amount of gently pushing and prodding with my house slippered foot, would move her!

Ethel stretched, rolled, and acted generally cute and seductive. Then she scrunched herself down, assuming the ‘kitty’ position, leaving no doubt as to what she wanted! Finally, it dawned on me. Even though she’d been spayed 6 months ago, poor Ethel was in Heat! I was stunned. How could this be?

I called the Vet I use because he makes (at a very high fee) ‘house calls’. He wanted no part of it; said I needed to go back to the Veterinarian that had done the original surgery. The problem with this was, they were spayed at a low cost clinic. I’d never actually known the name of the Veterinarian. And, I hadn't taken them there, because it was too far; a volunteer had. To make matters worse, because of my recent Hard Drive Failure, I’d lost many of my ‘newer’ phone numbers and email addresses.

So, with Ethel YOWLING pitifully in the background, Lucy pacing around in a confused manner, and me pulling my hair out; I got on the internet. I was able to find a web site for the sponsoring agency of the clinic where they'd had the surgery and email them. I was also able to email a man who works with feral cats in our area, having conversed with him once before, when I was looking for kittens to adopt, thinking he’d have names and numbers. Yes! The very next morning, he called me with the info I needed.

I immediately left messages on several voice mails. While I was waiting for replies, I went back to the net, to the newsgroups, where I got a tremendous amount of help and information, even from Vets! If you have access to newsgroups, you might want to check out: rec.pets.cats.health+behav . The threads regarding Ethel are obvious.

Some of the ‘comments’ I got there:

1)“The cat in question certainly has ovarian remnant syndrome. Although, some ovarian tissue can be present even on a ligament that holds the ovary to the body wall, such thing is extremely rare, in my and my colleague's experience.

The operation may be unrewarding since you may not see a nice ovary (compared to usual spay) when you open the cat, and the cat may still go in heat after the operation. Although not a real solution, the vet may remove the uterus, if it was let behind in first operation.”

2)"Its called 'ovarian remnant syndrome' and its usually caused by sloppy surgical technique - leaving part or all of an ovary or from dropping of some ovarian tissue into the peritoneal cavity - which could revascularize and start functioning again at any time - which looks like what probably happened. I hope they plan to check her serum estrogen level before they start cutting!

3)“…do you think it is fair for the vet to charge the OP again for this procedure since it was her fault?

Charge her again? They'd be lucky if she doesn't sue them! There may be limitations on "damages to pets", but not for her mental anguish caused by their negligence. She's worried sick - and rightly so.

If it happened to my cat, I wouldn't let the same vet near my cat. In fact, I'd insist on a board certified surgeon because surgery to remove ovarian remnants requires a bit more surgical skill. The first vet couldn't get it right the first time -- I damn sure wouldn't give him/her the chance to screw it up again. I don't give vets or parachute packers’ second chances.

4)"I did notice, however, that some of the vets who remove only ovaries have higher incidence of recurrent heat.”

5)"Unfortunately, there are a few vets - just a few - who consider shelter animals "just a shelter cat/dog" - 'second rate' animals and don't give them same quality of care as an owned pet. People with that attitude don't last very long around my 'house'.


Sadly, I also got many comments to the effect that 'If you don't have the financial resources to care for pets, you shouldn' have them."

Well, I can’t afford, nor can I physically get to another Vet (And as she was already spayed, I shouldn’t HAVE too!). And this Vet is part of a spay or neuter clinic; they do not have the abilities, resources or funds to do the suggested blood work. Unbelievably, this spay and neuter ‘clinic’ is even insisting I sign a ‘waiver’ before this second surgery!

To top it off; Ethel is STILL fighting the viral infection she was born with; her immune system still is not up to par. AND she didn’t react well to the anesthetic the first time around. I’ve been told that this 2nd surgery is much more complex and that Ethel might not make it through…

On the 'up' side; she is young, otherwise healthy, and an 'upbeat' cat. (My little 'clown')

I’m STILL waiting to hear from the Vet or the Vet Tech that works in that clinic. Ethel is scheduled for her 2nd spay at the end of this month FREE of charge. Though this may be put off till she goes into Heat again; they want to 'see' her in this condition, and surgery might be easier to perform.

Ethel is now back to normal. But what a week! It stormed all week, so I couldn't even get out of the apartment in my wheelchair (can't get 'em wet!). Have you ever been locked in an apartment for a week with a cat in Heat?

To say that I’m worried (and concerned about ALL the animals that get spayed or neutered there), is putting it mildly.

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Hope & Awe!

As the days pass and I feel just a little better (most) days, and reclaim just a little more of my life (function) each day, I am absolutely filled with awe...

Yes, there are still days when I have to lie down for awhile, but not often! And every day, I need to rest a bit between chores or activities. And I can still get 'unfocused' about my tasks. BUT...

I get dressed every day, fix my hair, put on earrings, slap on some lipstick! I do little dabs of laundry in my tiny washer, hanging wet stuff all over. I do some dishes or cooking when needed. I get my mail. Make phone calls. Every few days, I do a major chore, sweep the floors, change the bed, etc.

With my new wheelchair I am able to go to doctor appointments, do my banking, do minor shoping (I order groceries twice a month online and they are delivered), etc.

As time passes, my apartment is getting cleaner and less cluttered and more organized. (This despite the fact I haven't found a 'caregiver' to hire - this would help immensely!), Unfortunately, everything does pile up before I get to it - but I DO get to it, eventually. Last year, or for the past 5 yrs, I couldn't have said that.

It's just amazing to me! After so many years of debilitating illness; I am actually starting to get a 'life' back. AND LOVING IT! And with life, comes hope, and plans for the future.

For YEARS, I was so ill, indeed for most of my life, and not understanding how other people DID life. Now not a day goes by that I don't say to myself, "No wonder other people have jobs, homes, spouses. If they feel like this just part of the time..."!!!

Hope & Awe!

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Haircut!

Today I finally did it!!!

I've been considering it for quite some time, but didn't want to make the decision during all those months I was feeling so terrible. No, that's not a good time to make big decisions...

Today I went from very long hair (over 12 inches from the ponytail!) to very, very, VERY short. (I want to get clippers and see if I can maintain the the 'DO' by myself!) And the cut hair was donated to: http://www.locksoflove.org/

I just felt that my long, long, hair was taking up far too much of my time and energy. Goodness, after I got out of the shower from washing my hair, it took me an hour to comb all the tangles out! Really! My hair was so long and so very curly.

On top of that, it basically took about an hour a day for brushing and grooming it!

Now that I'm starting to feel better, I want to get in the pool! Often! (The docs keep telling me to do 'water walking', whatever THAT is.) And trying to deal with my hair AFTER a trip to the pool AND a shower, was a energy nightmare. I know, I have tried 2 - 3 times during the past year as I gradually felt better.

So I wheeled out of that hair salon lighter all the way around, in hair and spirit. The first thing I noticed? My earrings swinging again!

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