Tis the Season

Tis the Season!

OK, so it's xmas eve and I'm feeling lonely; it's just me, the cats, and some pretty good movies on TV.

But I've actually had a good xmas; friends visited early in the month bringing lots of goodies, both things I needed, and some toys too! Then I finally got the new living room furniture (Ikea) that I wanted (needed!), it will be delivered Tuesday, exchanged small gifts w/a couple of friends, saw one of my grandsons yesterday (the 17 year old), and I haven't needed surgery or been ill lately!

And I have made plans for tomorrow, I learned long ago that the secret to living alone is to plan activities, even if they are 'alone' activities. Tomorrow I'll fix my diabetic feast, go to the Fomasa Slough to bird watch, call (long distance) two old relatives in MO. And if I have the energy, repot the little xmas tree I purchased this year and get it out on the patio where it will be happier! So a full, and pleasant, day.

Writing? I've been taking a little time off. One of those 'waiting to exhale' kinda things. Stuff in the works, but it won't really come to fruitation till after the first of the new year - then I'll have to put some hours in, there's much stuff I could do in preparation, but am just being a slacker for awhile, and enjoying it!

Blog? You can see for yourself that I’ve been slacking. I promise to do better next year!

Byetta? It's finally smoothing out on the 5 mcg pen twice a day. Nausea is now rare and mild. Still am losing weight slowly and blood sugars ARE better (been slacking on that too). I may never be able to go back to the higher dose, but only time will tell.

I wish everyone a peace and joy this Holiday Season...

A state of mind

I AM extremely poor; live WAY below the suggested poverty level the American government puts out stats on. But, I am not poor of spirit, ego, intelligence, or imagination!

I also realize, that me being so poor, has SOME basis in fact, of being my own fault; as I never pursued a man as a meal ticket when I could have, after my divorce lo those many years ago. Nor did I ever seek alimony when I could have (I had a job, didn't need his money!).

I was also financially short sighted, uneducated, or just plain stupid, not realizing that I had no family resources at all, (houses, cars, money, heirlooms, etc) to be passed on to me. All I received were the funeral bills (and poor funerals they were at that, my grandparents are in separate cemeteries in separate states, and sadly, I'm physically far from all those 'resting places' of my beloved family).

Though I worked from age 14 (part time after school), my paychecks always went towards paying the family rent. I remained financially stupid, and stayed that way until 1982 when after my second cancer surgery I was unable to return to work, as planned. I had to go on full disability and had no resources (what family I had were dead and gone by then, x remarried and not interested in the two teens who needed food). Jeeze! I did not even posess good quality furniture or towels that would last me the rest of my life!

Poverty has taught me not to be above accepting hand me downs (what furniture I have, my puter), dumpster diving (at least half the stuff in my apartment has arrived here via our abundant dumpsters), or just plain good will (i.e. I have a cyber buddy who has her nephew pick up and deliver to me, a full turkey dinner [serves 4- 6 so there are a lot of leftovers for the freezer!] from Ralphs or Vons every Thanksgiving).

Poverty overrode my pride. It left me long ago, in big hunks and chucks, as I've learned to ask almost total strangers for 'things'. In fact, I would not be above attaching a coffee can with RENT lettered on it with a marker, to my wheelchair and going downtown to spend the day on street corners. The only thing that has prevented me from doing this is that I am usually too ill!

In return, I really do try to 'pass it forward':
-by spending hours with a schizophrenic neighbor who is having paranoid delusions till the new med kicks in
-giving half the food in my kitchen to a drug rehab couple that had none
-putting MY stuff out at the dumpster
-rooting and giving away plants to neighbors
-collecting free samples all year on the net and making two huge xmas stockings and taking them to my daughter and grandson
-always, always giving a ciggie or two to anyone who asks
-giving change to street people when I have it
-visiting with elderly neighbors
-writing the best poetry you'll ever read or hear

So, though I'm in dire straights 365 day a year, I seldom become despondent, nor feel sorry for myself (except about my health). I realize that I'm lucky, I live in America and have a Section 8 roof over my head! And I've spent my life doing what I love, writing.

I do not ever feel useless, or like a taker because I can not longer 'work'. I feel that I contribute in ways our social systems couldn't possibly provide, one person at a time, one reader at a time. So I have no money, and few 'things'; still, I am not poor of spirit!

UPS has joined the 'smoking police'.

Tonight, I heard on the news that UPS will no longer deliver cigarettes.

hmmm, what about porn DVD's? Or violence filled CD's??? Or perhaps the old gent who lives next door will no longer be able to order his staples from www.netgrocer.com; something might contain unacceptable amounts of cholesterol...

Are these people nuts!!! Since when can UPS or any other commercial company make 'moral' decisions for me?

I am a 60 yr old woman in a wheelchair. Trying to live on $870 a month.
And UPS will not deliver cigarettes to me???

Native Americans make them. Native Americans want to sell them. I want to buy them. None of this is illegal.

As it is, they can NO longer accept credit card purchases, either on their web sites, or over the phone. OUR government wants folks to buy their tobacco products in their own states, so that they can extract their 'taxes'. Whatever happened to the Boston Tea Party???

So, I have to send a check or money order. And I do.

Well I am only one person, but I do have a VOICE, and I will no longer ship via UPS for any reason, from any company where I shop. FedX can deliver things to my grandchildren. The USPS can bring me my Native produced cigarettes.

I will also tell everyone I know to NOT use UPS! Everyone needs to take a stand. Or soon UPS will decide YOU don't need pet supplies, books, or some great buy from eBay!

Domino's Pizza is still trying to get out from under the 'consumer' boycott women sponsored. I can only hope the same happens to UPS.

The C.A.V.E. People (Citizens Against Virtually Everything), have finally gone too far...

Inspection Time

Today, the SD Housing Commission made their yearly visit.

When you have subsidized housing, this is just one of the 'little' intrusions you have to learn to accept.

One of the problems with the yearly inspections? They don't know why they are doing it; I don't know why they are doing it. They don't want to be doing it; I don't want them to do it. However, there is a THICK multi-paged form they have to fill out, or your rent will not continue to be subsidized.

For me, it's just another of the time consuming life sustaining items in my life. (Being poor takes so very much time!)

You do get notice of this annual visit 30 & 7 days prior. You do not get a time, however. So if you want to be around when your home is invaded by a stranger, you have to plan to be there all day.

You also have NO idea who the person is going to be; I've never had the same person twice. And worse yet, you have no idea what the person's attitude is going to be, or what their particular items of interest might be.

This year, the guy did not check one thing; not the fire alarm, a faucet, the heater, nadda. It turned out though that he WAS a member of the 'SMOKING' Police. He told me I needed to wash the walls with a mop. When I told him I was not able to do that (sitting right there in front of him in a wheelchair), he said that I'd have to pay someone to do it.

I've lived here 6 years. The walls ARE dirty, but from living, not graffiti or something. Any one's walls would be dirty after 6 yrs.

But then he said, "And after you have the walls washed, it would be wise not to smoke in here."

I took a deep breath, so as not to lose my temper, then kindly told him that this was my HOME, and that I could do anything here that was legal.

He signed the papers, gave me my copy (which I couldn't read at all, he hadn't pressed hard enough), and left.

I tore up the papers and put them at the bottom of the trash can, to line it, looked at the smoke alarm wondering if it was still functional, and went about my day.

Poor equals the bottom of the bureaucracy...

Horton Plaza

Being as I had 'layover' time between appointments, I got to spend some time downtown at Horton Plaza this afternoon. One of my favorite places.

I went to the ATM, I splurged on a large Mocha from Starbucks, I got a new cell from the Cingular Store (my very old one had stopped working). And lastly, I picked up a few groceries from the big Ralph's across the street.

I window shopped. At a fancy jewelry shop window, I picked out a 'tennis bracelet' I liked, only $1900, on sale! At Cingular, I picked out the cell I'd REALLY like, a Palm Trio. I cruised an upscale deli, picking out the meats and cheesed I'd LIKE to order to take home.

But most of all I engaged in my usual pastime, I people watched. And at Horton Plaza there is never a lack of people. Rich or poor, others, like me, find it an enjoyable place to hang. And because it is right downtown, there are always many tourists from the convention center, the nearby hotels, or a cruise ship docked at the bottom of Broadway.

I saw local homeless, pushing their carts, getting a cheap fast food meal, and the well to do eating at the very upscale restaurants. I heard people speaking in many languages (primarily Dutch, I think). And I even was able to give directions to a woman who said she'd just arrived here from Louisiana!

I left, after spending several hours there, for my second appointment of the afternoon, having spent too much money, of course, money I hadn't planned on spending. But feeling entertained, and having had a wholely worthwhile experience.

Do click on the 'title' above, it will whisk you away to Horton Plaza...

Wet & Wild Weather

Suddenly, the night was bright with lightning and the thunder was a constant boom!!! We'd had some scattered showers during the afternoon, but not a hint of this!

It seemed, somewhere around 1AM last night that a storm just sat overhead for about half an hour. The lightning was almost constant. The thunder rolled, growled, and banged. There was almost NO time between the lightning and the thunder.

The poor cats went nuts; Lucy & Ethel came off the foot of my bed where they'd been sleeping, with the first flashes of lightning, like a firecracker had been set off under them. Then they ran in separate direction, both literally running around in circles. They've never seen thunder and lightning.

I got in my wheelchair and then I shut all the blinds and opened a closet door for them, which they immediately took advantage of, and where they hid out for the rest of the night.

Then I went outside! I do love the rain and storms, perhaps because they happen so seldom. But unlike on other occasions, I stayed under the upstairs overhang. With that lightning seeming to strike all around, I was very aware that I was sitting on top of 140lbs of metal!!! Nor did I see any neighbors out checking out the storm as is usually the case, no one was even out on patios. Either it was too late at night, or the storm was just too bad.

I didn't stay out long, it was just too wet and wild. By 2:15 AM I was back in my warm bed, monitoring the rare storm from there, sans cats!

Mike

My grandson, Michael, stopped by unannounced this afternoon. Haven't seen him in weeks, though he only lives 2 miles away.

He's gotten so big, at 17, he's larger than most men. And genetics? Now that he's approaching adulthood, he's an amazing blend of his mom, (therefore his grandfather), and his dad. I could just sit and look at him...

He's in school part-time, working part-time, getting along with his Mom, (he says), and has a girl; all's well with the world...

More adventures with grass!

I was finally ready to try again.

I went to the pet store, paid OVER $3 for a small package of 'Kitty Grass' seed. Planted some in two different pots, on different week-ends, so I'd have a 'rotating' crop.

Felt very smug about it all. This time I would NOT bring the containers inside. When the grass got tall enough, I'd 'mow' it with a pair of scissors, and present it to the cats!

And after a couple of weeks of watering and turning pots towards the sun, that's exactly what I did.

Still feeling smug and good about providing what my cats needed, I 'clipped' the top of one planter of grass of about 3 inches of growth. I bought in into the apartment and placed it in the middle of the living room floor on a piece of paper as I was expecting a great deal of chewing and rolling.

Lucy and Ethel, who'd been watching this entire procedure with great interest, immediately went over to the paper to check out the grass. They slowly approached the grass in the middle of the paper. They sniffed it with delicate black noses.

Then, Ethel just turned and walked away!!! While Lucy tried to cover the grass with first the paper, then the carpet!

Not giving up, I took the grass off the paper and put it on the bottom of one of their scratchers, thinking they'd notice it later.

Yea, right!

But the Cat Grass Project hasn't come to an end; obviously, I must just not have the right kind of seed. Now I'm seeking Catnip seed. Sigh...

Bronchitis!

Jeeze. Bronchitis. Again. This is the 3rd bout of it I've had since I had the flu last year.

This time they gave me a different antibiotic, hope it's fast acting and finally gets this bug!

Luckily it hasn't disrupted my sleep much, because I can put the head of my hospital bed up, and sleep pretty well with a minimum of coughing.

It has affected my ability to work, play with the cats, go to the store, etc. It seems I can't win for losing. But then at least I don't live in a hurricane prone area, have not been flooded out!

I am concerned that the antibiotic, cough syrup, will worsen the nausea from the Byetta - time will tell...

Thoughts on LIving

Someone told me today, that he'd quit smoking years ago when a close friend had died of lung cancer. Of course, I sympathized...

Later I got to thinking about that statement. When I was in my 30's, a really good friend's husband died in a car accident. I didn't quit driving.

What if everyone who used a cell phone

for more than three minutes every day, developed brain cancer and died?

Wouldn't this change the world in a matter of years? The very poor do not have cell phones, the poor have them and try not to use them. These would be the people who would take charge of the 'new' configuration...

An Amazing Man

I met an amazing man today. He was returning home from an art class, and asked me what a 'billboard' add meant, explaining that English was his second language.

I explained it to him, including the subtle humor and connotations. Then we got to chatting. He was 90 years old! (Didn't look a day over 70! LOL). He'd been born in Hawaii, moved to Japan at age six, then at some later time, back to Hawaii. He explained that although he'd learned English as a child, he just didn't have an 'ear' for it.

There he was, at 90, on a warm summer early evening, with a 12 pack box of beer under his arm, (he said he allowed himself one each evening) waiting to get the bus home, after attending an art class!

He was pleasant, happy, intelligent, and friendly. It was a pleasure spending some time talking with him. You don't too often meet people like that. Like I said, an amazing man.

Oh for a chair!

I do not have any comfortable place to sit, put my feet up, and read.

In fact, other than some plastic shelf units, and an old desk that the TV sits on, I don't have ANY living room furniture.

I did have a nice looking couch that I found out by the dumpster, but it was much too large for the room, and I had difficulty getting around it in my wheelchair. On top of which, it was too low and narrow, for ME to sit on comfortably. So out it went!

I mostly read eBooks on my PDA. But I have only my wheelchair, or my hospital bed, neither are comfortable for reading.

I want a 'reading spot'! A place I can sit and read, watch TV, and look out the window. And I want it by this winter! I'm almost 60, I deserve a comfy place to sit and read!

I want a platform rocker & ottoman, or even a good sturdy chair and ottoman!!! I've picked out a nice set in the Ikea catalog: $169 for a mission style loveseat, and $99 for the matching chair (They have a matching platform 'glider' chair - but the price is way outta my range!).

To that end, I'm saving my pennies. But if you happen to know of any good used or new living room furniture, please let me know!

Byetta Creates Big Changes!

I haven't posted because my time has literally been 'sucked' up with Byetta (& nausea)!

Byetta has changed MUCH in my life! (I'm wondering if this happened to any of the folks in the 'research groups'?)

As my switch to 10 is looming on the horizon, I'm wondering if I want to do another month at the 5 level (I have two more '5' pens - so I'd have to take 4 injections a day).

Not only has my appetite changed (I've lost 5 lbs), the foods I want have changed, my 'meal times' have become 'fixed' when they used to be 'fluid'. I haven't 'cooked' since starting Byetta! BUT...

-Am also had to learn to deal w/GI probs: nausea, a feeling of fullness, gas, indigestion, constipation (from not eating so much? am taking DSS now),
-I am NOT hungry 24/7, even right after a large meal! (an amazement beyond belief!)
-an extra two shots per day,
-testing bg's at a different times (used to be BEFORE meals, now it's after - and sometime I forget; I need to buy a TWO hour timer. LOL),
-using insulin at different times in less amounts (used to be w/meal, now 2hr pp),
-worrying HOW insulin & Byetta will interact on bg's in different situations.
-thinking about taking Byetta 'pen' with me (and meal!), if I'm gonna be out at meal time of the day,
-problems SLEEPING, (often can't go to sleep at usual time because my bg isn't HIGH, so I toss and turn for a couple of hours before finally going to sleep, then WAY oversleep the next day, which screws up everything.

I am soon to be 60, some of the changes are 'habits or routines' of a prior entire lifetime! And I've NEVER been good at 'changes' (rocking boats disorient me!).

Top all this off w/my other medical probs I have to manage: like I am having some minor 'Tetany' this morning, in fact. And the HH, my hemoglobin and Hematacrit levels are up again; I went for a TP (therapeutic phlebotomy) last week, and return again in 3 weeks. Add the Byetta into the mix, and all it's associated lifestyle changes, side effects, and it's a lot to juggle!

I like the Byetta, feel that after many years, am finally on the way to a normal bg status again (and for that, I DO need to go to the 10mcg dose). But I AM feeling overwhelmed by it all...

Perhaps Byetta, instead of offering the free pen 'cooler' (has anyone even gotten that???), and a $10 off coupon, should have set up f2f support groups (like gastric bypass folks), or a coupon for free psychologist visits??? LOL

Dumpster Diving

Probably half the stuff in my apartment came out of the apartment complex’s dumpsters. It's absolutely amazing to me what folks throw in the trash.

And I come by Dumpster Diving in a legitimate fashion, my Gramps was always going through the neighbors garbage. The lawn chair he was sitting in the night he died came from someone's discards (he loved that old chair).

But, I don't know about today's find.

I went to a neighbors to drop something off, and right there, sitting by a dumpster, was a rocker/recliner! And, other than being very dirty, it looked sound.

Since I've been looking for SOMETHING to sit in (other than my wheelchair or hospital bed) for months, I jumped on the chance. I had a couple of neighbors install it in my living room, and had them take the huge hide-a-bed couch that I found at a dumpster a few months ago, out.

(I can’t even imagine what it must be like to pick out furniture you’d want, that would fit your room/needs, and buy it, new!)

I threw an old sheet over the recliner, and transferred into it. Pretty good! It had a slight list to the left, but not bad. But after sitting there for a few minutes, I became aware of the smell! Really, really, bad.

I'd been planning to get upholstery cleaner, fabreeze, and a new 'cover'. But I'm wondering now if it's worth it, that recliner smells so bad, I don't know if it would 'clean up'. I might be wasting my money. Does anyone have any hints for cleaning upholstery???

OTOH, I really do need stuff to SIT on (Now the only seating in my living room is the chair. Before there was the nice looking couch that guests could use, but I couldn't, and it took up the whole room!). A quandary for sure...

Pictures of 'The Sisters'!

Rosemary, a long-time friend, came over today with her digital camera.

At first the cats were just a touch camera shy. It didn't take long, though, until Lucy and Ethel, got the idea. Then they loved being the focus of all the attention as picture after picture was taken.

There were times when I actually thought they were posing! Really! A little head turned just so into the light, sitting just the right distance from each other so they looked like shadows, stretching out a delicate little paw. Generally acting 'cute' without being rambunctious.

They are basically outgoing cats, but usually when we have visitors, they make a brief appearance then move on to their own daily routine. Not so with that camera pointed at them! Perhaps I should have a 'portfolio' done and hire them out for television commercials!
Look forward to new pictures of Lucy and Ethel on my website!

A Windfall

Here it is, almost the end of the month, and to my utter astonishment, I have $200 EXTRA.

What to do with it??? Such a quandary! There is so very much I'm in REAL need of: clothes, shots for the cats, a chair and lamp, so I can have a place to read (other than sitting in my wheelchair or hospital bed), linens, a winter poncho, and on and on and on. All, everyday things that many would not consider luxuries. Things that many can't imagine not having available...

After days of cogitating, I fell back on my Mother's and Gramp's sage advice. I remember hearing it many times over during my childhood, ”You can never go wrong with the necessities - it's like putting money in the bank."

So I stashed a good part of my 'windfall' away for 'Medical Transportation' (@ $10 round trip). Then I got online to http://www.vons.com/.

I now have a kitchen full of food (also a luxury around here!). The freezer is full of microwave meals, the cupboard is full of canned fruits & veggies. I have tuna, and crackers, and chicken broth, and cottage cheese, and sour cream!!! Most of which my kitchen hasn't seen in months.

Here's to Windfalls!!!

Byetta User!

Took my first injection of Byetta today - no problems! So I am 'officially' a Byetta user!

It's been a hard fight (insurance), and 8 weeks to get to this point, but I'm finally here!

Now all that remains is to see if it's going to work for me. Sure hope so as my last a1c was UP to 8.4, the highest yet.

I have a follow up appointment with the Diabetes Educator next week.

Byetta, YES!!!

I actually GOT my Byetta today!!! (What, insurance has only been dragging their feet for SIX weeks???) It is in my refrigerator! (I still need to read all the 'inserts'.)

And I have an appointment on Thursday afternoon to get my lesson on 'pen use' and to take my first injection in my docs office!!!

I'm so excited! Am just sitting here trying to imagine how I'm going to feel, physically & mentally, if I can obtain NORMAL blood sugars. (I ran '80' all my life till DM hit with a hammer!) I would think it could even be life changing...

Just not having to 'roll' a bottle of insulin to make sure it's mixed for 3 minutes, draw up insulin, inject it with EACH MEAL then either 'getting very sleepy' and taking a nap, or having to watch for a low because I didn't count my carbs correctly!

And the hunger!!! I am ALWAYS hungry (except when blood sugars are under 120). If Byetta (or 'normal' blood sugars could eliminate the INSANE hunger...

Yes, life might be very different with Byetta!!!

Tetany

In the past six weeks or so, I’ve endured still another bout of Tetany, not one of my favorite states of being!

I’ve suffered with Tetany, and the management of it, for all my adult life. The first time after a total Thyroidectomy. Then, it got much worse after they took out my last parathyroid glad, (ten years later). Because it looked suspiciously like cancer, they were unable to ‘implant’ some of it in my arm, as is routine, so you don't have to live your life in this condition.

Tetany symptoms includes: spasms of the hands and feet, muscle pain, a ‘fuzzy’ feeling in my mouth, cognitive problems (slow thinking, unable to make decisions), and when it’s bad, Laryngospasms (spasm of the larynx, the voice box -- it feels like someone is pressing both their thumbs into the front of your neck. Eventually, you start making weird noises when you inhale.)

It’s not like I’m unfamiliar with either the problem or the treatment of Tetany. But it DID kinda take me by surprise because for the past few years, I’ve actually been suffering from HIGH blood calcium (Hypercalcemia), probably caused, this time (the first time it was that darned parathyroid gland!), by some left behind after that surgery, parathyroid tissue that slowly regrew.

The problem with this ‘regrown’ parathyroid tissue (and the docs actually haven’t been able to FIND it), is that it’s not reliable. It tends to work is ‘spurts’. I’d almost rather have NO parathyroid; it probably would be easier to manage.

The problems THIS TIME were:

1) I did not have the necessary medications in the house, well I had some of them, but they were outdated by 5 years, so I had no idea of their potency. (I won't make THAT mistake again.)

2) The NEXT problem was that I went to the Emergency Room to get prescriptions for the needed DHT, Calcium, and Magnesium. (I hadn’t been to an ER in years!) I told the nurse and the physician why I was there and that I was suffering from Tetany.

The doctor DID NOT order an ionized blood calcium!!! This would be the FIRST diagnostic test to diagnose Tetany. He did a standard blood calcium, which was actually a little high – from all the calcium I had been taking in previous days, no doubt. When you have Tetany, you can have a normal or HIGH blood calcium, and a LOW ionized blood calcium.

Now, no one at the ER informed me of the test results or I would have requested the needed test. I didn’t even see the doc again, it might have been different if the doctor had seen me and given me the test results, talked to me! But, a nurse came in with the prescriptions for calcium and magnesium. I did not SEE the lab results until I was being discharged and actually could think clearly enough to ask for a copy.

However, I felt so bad, and was worried about getting home I actually got lost on the FAMILIAR public bus system and didn't get home till 10P. Because of my cognitive state, I actually sat at the wrong bus stop for an hour. I didn’t actually review the labs until the next day.

Silly me! I thought someone in the ER at Scripps/Mercy Hospital would be competent enough to look Tetany up in reference books, on the computer, or call my doc, (which I requested multiple times, at multiple levels)! The fact that I assumed the staff's competence clearly shows my diminished cognitive state. Obviously, the doc saw that normal blood calcium, and wrote me off as a hypochondriac. I was left to get home while suffering moderate, undiagnosed, Tetany...

3) Three days later, (after about 6 days of medications) I saw my Endocrinologist. She’s a terrific Endocrinologist; I’ve been seeing her about 5 years, mainly for Diabetes2 and lately, Hypercalcemia. I see her in a ‘clinic’ setting and put up with ‘residents’ in order to see her, as I feel she’s that good.

However, she had never actually seen me having Tetany before (though at times, over the years, I’d pointed out hand spasms – and there had been some VERY LOW ionized calciums). And, I guess, she didn’t have access to my old records. AND, by the time of this appointment, I was having NO SYMPTOMS (plus, it can come and go rather quickly – and be in all stages). So, there I was, feeling the usual ‘post’ Tetany, ‘been run over by a truck’ state, but NOT Tetany.

She told me that the labs at the ER had been more or less normal. And she ordered a whole bunch of other labs (what a waste of money, when done while not exhibiting symptoms). She inferred that I was not having Tetany (well of course, not at that exact time!), and that she was seeking ‘the cause’ of my ‘cramps’ (I wasn’t having cramps! I was having Tetany!).

Sure enough, a few days later she called with the lab results: mostly normal. And she too, treated me like I was a nut! Gave me directions for the ‘Tetany’ meds; extremely small doses.

I followed her directions, and sure enough, in just a few days, was having moderate Tetany AGAIN. So “I” increased the meds, and I started feeling better in a few days. Still, it remains ‘iffy’, it comes & goes (but doesn't stay away), kinda like that aberrant parathyroid tissue, wherever it is.

I don't really 'blame' her; like most Endocrinoligists, she tends to focus on Diabetes, and Thyroid problems (MUCH more common). But I thought she knew me better than that by now...

I do get tired and frustrated when I'm so very ill, AND having to be my own doc & advocate because my 'real docs' don't believe me and/or won't think outside the box, or spend the time to TALK to me, or review the extensive records I've provided.

Believe me, I KNOW Tetany. I spent post-surgical months living with tubes in both arms. Have been treated (before DHT) in ER’s in two states for it with regularity (surprised the hell out of many ER's!) Have lived with it, tried to manage it, for the past 25 years!

Why, oh why, isn't there a Medical Specialty that focuses only on 'Rare and Unusual' conditions??? Boy, I'd fit right into such a medical practice!

For some excellent info on Tetany...

Jolene

I clicked into a new search site, http://www.zabasearch.com/ and for no thought out reason, entered the Jolene’s full name.

Jolene is a childhood friend (best friends since kindergarten, for heaven’s sake, when we lived just houses from each other!) that I'd lost touch with in the last few years.

They had retired, moved to another state, and I'd also moved. The result was that we lost track of each other, for the first time since the day we met.

I’ve looked for her. Oh, how I’ve looked for her, phonebooks, people with the same last name (I’ve sent many strangers emails asking if they were Jolene!), Social Security public records, and on the internet in the hopes she’d eventually put up a web site. I’ve even tried to contact her husband’s relatives as he comes from a large family. I’ve waited expectantly for that annual Christmas Card (not realizing a ‘change of address’ order expires after only six months).

Then to my joy and disbelief, boom, there it was, on the ZabaSearch page! From the information provided there, I was able to find her phone number in the white pages.

I just hung up the phone from talking with her!!! I recognized her voice immediately when she answered. Some things, even 55 years, don’t change. We didn’t talk long, just long enough to exchange current information; health, kids, grandkids, and email addresses!

Thankfully, she has a computer too – Jolene and I can really catch up now, maybe get to know each other better again! This just makes my day, week, month!!! I am sooo happy...

Byetta

It has now been one month since the rx for Byetta was called in to the pharmacy.

MediCal has REFUSED authorization for Byetta. And they said that they will refuse it the second time it's submited, today.

1)MediCal does NOT have Byetta in it's Database, and it could be weeks before it does. Amylin/Lilly IS working with them on this.

2)MediCal says it will not approve Byetta UNLESS I am currently taking BOTH Metaforman & SufaWHATEVER (sp) and it isn't working well. (Now if I started taking these two meds today instead of insulin, even though I've tried them before and they didn't work, they'd probably deny Byetta till I'd been ON these meds for 6 mos. or longer and had a history of a1c's to back it up!)

MediCal says I NEED the first drug Amylin came out with, the one for Insulin Dependant Diabetics. (They obviously thinks they are docs - endos yet!) They would approve that (go figure!). That is all they would approve since I am taking insulin. (No way around this as they have been paying for my insulin for years.)

So, I need one of the Byetta Sample kits, they are a complete 5 mcg pen, a few needles, a video on how to use (a lotta good that does folks w/no VCR), and a $10 coupon for next purchase. Private endos are giving them out to patients left and right, I know several folks that have already gotten these. I need to try to get one from my doc.

AND, I've requested the paperwork for the program Lilly has to help pay for meds not covered by insurance. Though I may not be eligible, or they may not cover it for the same reasons MediCal won't. I will certainly try though...

AND, I will file an appeal with the state when I get the hardcopy 'denials' from my pharmacy. But those appeals can take months.

AND in 1/2006 when MediCare takes over as Primary for all meds, I might be able to get it then. (This could be why MediCal is dragging their heels on a lot of stuff.)

Perhaps I should just stop taking insulin, stop purchasing food, and put the bucks towards Byetta ($119.00 plus per month). Would lose a lot of weight THAT way, as well as attracting media attention (my blog is already listed with the Union Tribune); maybe sell a lot of eBooks because of it, and be able to afford to PAY for the Byetta... Plus, my attorney will be back in town late this month!

More on my Neighbors

When I went out to get my mail (or should I say trash, as most of it goes right into the dumpster) today. I was surprised to see a vacant apartment in the next building.

Now vacancies in this huge complex ( 35 buildings - 500 apartments ) are hardly a unique item.

But the folks that had been living in this particular apartment had been there for longer than I've lived here, almost six years. Seeing their place 'empty' was shocking.

Now we weren't friends, just nodding neighbors, speaking to each other at appropriate times. I didn't even know the names of their four children, though I often watched them play; I probably spoke more to the children (well behaved, nice kids) then I did to the parents. So it's no wonder that I wasn't 'notified' of their impending move. Nor did I see a moving truck.

Now they're gone. I don't know why, or where they moved too. I will miss them, and their constant presence around the perimeters of my life. Another loss of sorts.

Ocean Beach Street Fair

It had been on my calendar for several months, after all it is a once a year happening!

I was looking forward to going, as I hadn't been able to attend in the past several years. The weather was perfect, sunny and warm, but not hot. So I was ready to get out there and mingle with the local masses and spend some of my money. And I did exactly that!

But I was disappointed in the event. It had people, wall to wall people! And many, many, booths; everything from church groups to sunglasses, to zydeco CD's!

And there were food booths (I had brought my appetite); Sausages, egg rolls, kettle corn, roasted corn, peppermint water, and regular & no-sugar lemonade.

There was a chili cook-off, a skate board competition area, and a 'kiddy-rides' section.

All under the bright summer sun, with the muted sounds of local bands playing on 3 stages around the venue, and the Pacific Ocean a sparkling blue in the distance.

But the Ocean Beach Street Fair was missing some very important things: Cotton Candy!!! Snow Cones!!! Clowns walking around handing out balloons to children! People making balloon 'animals' for the kids! People walking around handing out freebies to the adults, invitations to religious services, decals, coupons for tune-ups. There was not one political booth! The library didn't have a 'book sale' booth!!! Gone! All gone!!!

In the last few years when I hadn't been able to attend this event, these things, which signify fun under the sun to me, just went pffft!

Society has really hit a new low when even a local, community event, is reduced to pure commercialism...

A birthday!

Actually, NOT a birthday. I do not know when they were born! I do know they came to live with me (at about 6 weeks old) one year ago today.

And what a joy and a pain they've been!

But I digress. The point is, they are not kittens any longer. Lucy & Ethel are now officially full grown adult cats.

The hardest part is over!!! All the illnesses, the spaying, the training.

I've never had/raised TOTAL house cats before. So it has been difficult as this IS a small apartment, and I don't have the $$$ for the 'cat thingeees' that would make life easier for all of us: scratching posts, remote controlled toys, and probably most important of all, tall kitty condos so they could see out over the patio.

OTOH, with total house cats there are definite advantages! No fleas or worms! No going out and hunting them when they don't come home. No little 'presents' they've bought in to play with. No encounters with other animals that could cause injuries and vet visits.

All in all, it's been worth every minute. They are truly creatures of joy...

Hummingbird Rescue

The cats spotted it first. Then I went to the sliding screen door to see what was so riveting to them.

Out of the corner of one eye, I saw a slight 'fluttering'. It took me a few seconds to spot the 'problem', mainly because it was well into dusk.

A male Costa's Hummingbird, one of the breeds common to my feeder, was on the patio floor, flapping around frantically. He kept trying to fly, but for some reason, just couldn't take to the air. He seemed exhausted and was breathing heavily, almost panting.

Since I've had a Hummer Feeder for YEARS, this kind of incident has happened to me before. Still, I didn't have a good feeling about this time, as I could see no obvious reason for this bird to be on my patio in this condition. You always have to try though, or at least I do.

I isolated the cats while I attended to the bird, which they were not at all happy about. I got out an old, small bird cage I keep in a storage closet for just such occasions. (I also have a small creature keeper, an animal crate, and a small fish bowl - you just never know, or at least I don't.)

With a soft clean cloth, I was able to pick up the bird, which HE was not happy about, and get him safely into the cage. He just laid on the cage floor, on his side, breathing heavily, half hidden under the cloth. I put the cage in a quite, safe place and checked on it often. I had grave doubts about his status.

After awhile, of 'resting' he got off his side, got his feet under him. A good sign. I waited about 5 minutes more before offering him 'nectar' in a dropper. (I MUST get one of those water bottles with a drinking tube that rodents use! I keep forgetting!)

He ignored the dropper and I actually put one little drop of nectar on the end of that tiny beak. A few minutes later, I tried to get him to take the nectar again, with the same result. By now there were several small drops of reddish nectar on the cage floor, right in front of the Hummer. I was hoping he'd notice it and drink, he didn't. I was beginning to have grave doubts about this little creature surviving the long night if it wouldn't 'eat'.

Hummingbirds use so much energy, especially in a 'stress' situation, they can actually get into some kind of metabolic crisis state and die if their reserves aren't replenished immediately. I was afraid this might be the case with this bird. If only I'd found him sooner!

Ahhh, but a few minutes more, when I again offered him the dropper of nectar, he got the idea and stuck his beak right into the dropper itself and actually drank a little. We repeated this procedure a couple of times at intervals of about 5 minutes. I was feeling better about the Hummer's chances of survival.

Then, suddenly, he shook out his feathers and jumped up to the perch! I was elated! Even in the approaching dark, I could see the green and red of him almost shining in what light was still available.

Just before full dark, I gave him some more nectar from the dropper, which by now he was taking eagerly. Then I held the cage up next to the hanging feeder (it has perches) and opened the cage door. He jumped right from the cage perch to the feeder, fed well, then took flight, steady and sure, into the wild. I felt so good.

I left the bird cage where Lucy and Ethel could see and smell it. They were happy cats for a few hours.

I was worn out by now, but I'd done something some good this day! A little life helped...

My 'other' Grandsons!

I recently did something that I've been waiting a long 18 years to do!

My two oldest grandchildren: Russell Harris (now 19) and Christopher Harris (now 18) were adopted by a couple on the East Coast, Russell at birth, Christopher when he was about 2 months old.

Everyone in my family strongly objected to these adoptions. This family has ALWAYS taken IN children. If adoptions were truly necessary, they were done 'within' the family, not adopted out to strangers!

These were 'open adoptions'. Both boys went to the same couple. I had their address and phone number but I painfully came to the decision that it would be in the best interest of my Grandsons to not contact them till they were of age. But once they were...

These 'lost' Grandsons have often been in my thoughts. And, I've watched the calendar as these boys aged year by year. Once in awhile checking on the address and phone number, making sure it was current. Luckily for me (and the boys), the adoptive couple was stable and stayed put.

This last month, the youngest, Christopher, turned 18. And I called the adoptive parents. I spoke to the Adoptive Father. Introduced myself. Told him Christopher's story. Gave them the information regarding HH. Gave the adoptive father my address and phone number.

I told the adoptive father that I wished to have some kind of contact with these young men, if they so chose. And he SAID that he would give them the information (he did sound open, sincere, interested, and responsive).

Now I am in a position to send my grandsons snail mail! To send birthday and holiday cards. It doesn't really matter if they respond or not, though of course it would warm my heart if they did. Perhaps someday, I can even meet them, talk to them in person, learn what kind of people they are.

My 'lost' Grandsons are lost to me no longer...

Waiting, waiting, waiting

My blood sugars are NOT under good control, and haven't been for some time. I suffer from the X Syndrome (well, I don't have high blood pressure), the result is poor blood sugar control, weight increase, cholesterol increase, etc.

I also have neuropathy. I have to take Liquid Erythromycin before I eat anything sold, or my stomach will not process my food to match my insulin intake. And I have almost constant pain/burning in my fingers and toes.

For the past few years, like millions of others, I've been seeking solutions.

A couple of years ago, I became aware that one might be on the horizon, at least for some of us, and perhaps for me!

Byetta, by Amalyn pharmaceuticals, has been developed, went through multiple trials, was submitted to the FDA for approval. And it WAS approved on April 30th, 2005. It will be available by rx, in pharmacies on 6/1/05.

I can't begin to understand Byetta, but apparently, it is still one more naturally occurring hormone (like insulin), that the pancreas normally manufactures in folks who do NOT have Diabetes.

It is an injectable (pen form) and has to be used twice a day. It helps to control blood sugar on a long term basis (don't know if I will still have to take insulin). And get this, the side effects include lowered appetite and weight loss!!! (Well, sure, if your blood sugars are normal, you are not nearly as hungry!) Side effects I think I can deal with!

To top it off, it contains no preservatives I'm allergic to (zinc allergy means there's a lot of insulins I can't take).

Now, I've been SO patient though all this waiting. Much of the time early on in it's development, I didn't even allow myself HOPE. But now, the closer it gets, the more I want it! Now! Today!!! My patience is worn out and I don't want to wait this final couple of weeks before I can finally get this med. So much so, that I've emailed my Endocrinologist TWICE this month. Luckily, she is tolerant and puts up with me...

An almost summer eve

Not only did I not 'work' today, I got to socialize and eat out this evening.

A neighbor fired up the grill and we had wonderful 'carne asda'. And all the goodies to go with: big onion rolls, corn on the cob, potato salad, and watermelon. (Surprisingly, I made pretty good food choices, and DIDN'T eat too much. I even remembered that BBQ Sauce had a lot of sugar in it, and passed.)

After dinner was as good, if not better, than the meal. The men migrated inside to the TV. The women sat out in the coolish pre-summer evening under an almost full moon, around this huge barrel grill, which did a terrific imitation of a bonfire. We talked and shared stories, and laughed for a couple of hours.

I could do that almost EVERY evening...

WHAT IF every non smoker developed Alzheimer's?

There have been studies that point to smoking being a deterrent to Alzheimer's.

In my own family, the only two people who developed AD were female, life-long, non-smokers.

Do your own research! Here is a good starting place:

http://www.forces.org/evidence/carol/carol16.htm

Another Mother's Day Alone

Another's Mothers Day passed without hearing from either of my adult children; Lisa and John Robert. Nor any of my Grandchildren.

Not a card, a call, or an email.

Even though it's what I expected, it always causes me retrospection. The thing is: I was not an addict, we were never homeless, I never re-married nor moved a lover in, they were not malnourished and I think the only bruises they had were from falling off swings!

We went to week-end movies, picnics, celebrated holidays, sold girl scout cookies, my son went camping with boy scouts a couple of times. They had childhood friends, played outside with trikes, bikes, and bigwheels.

My kids had a lot of love, and personal attention from me. Plus I always managed to somehow get their basic needs met. I always put them FIRST. In fact, I probably still do.

Yes, I could have been a BETTER mother. But I absolutely did the best I could being a single mom with some pretty severe medical problems, always living below the poverty level, and with absolutely NO help or guidance (all our relatives died or disappeared, before they were pre-teens).

You would think that all the above circumstances would have brought us close, made us a tight little family. It did, but only while they were children.

Early this Mother's Day morning, while half-awake, and trying to decide whether to roll over and go back to sleep or to get up; I heard Dr. Dodson on the radio.

He said that children learn to respect and value their Mothers, THROUGH their Fathers, by seeing their Dads do exactly that. (And I would assume, OTHER close relatives.)

That brought me wide awake! It was mind boggling. A concept I'd never heard or thought of. Instantly, I realized that my children had had 'no one else' to view me though. No one to teach them to love, value, or accept their Mother.

Their, alcoholic for years father, though present in the background (when he felt like playing the role), and paying a very minimum of child support, never did anything but deride me in front of them.

So, obviously they never learned that so important lesson. Even though in their childhoods they saw me value, respect, and help others. I did teach them that. And they do. They care about almost everyone but me.

Though I've repeatedly, and in many ways, let them know that I am their Mother and I love them & need them in my life. And in these 'later' years, sadly, I've 'reacted' to their behaviour rather than 'acting' as I normally would (another way to teach them?), probably a 'last resort' tatic.

I've also been there for them as adults, when they needed me, if only on the phone, or being a safe place to stay for a few months.

I've pointed out that I didn't treat MY relatives in such a way; that they SAW me love and care for their grandmother. I've also pointed out that THEY are teaching their children how to treat THEM. All to no avail.

There is nothing I can do; I can't make them love, and care about me. They are adults now, middle-aged actually, so they are consciously making choices about how they treat me, how they live their lives.

And there is nothing I can do about it except continue to love them, and keep them in my thoughts. Once every few years, I get out their 'boxes' of childhood keepsakes: baby books, favorite toys, locks of hair, and spend hours remembering and crying.

Now, thanks to Dr. Dodson, and the serendipity of waking to a radio 'moment', there is finally some understanding and closure for me as a Mother. It is not my fault that my children do not love me. (Other than in the choice of the man I fell in love with and married. An error in judgment I've paid dearly for ever since.)

My life goes on, without THAT one specific guilt, even if I'm still living with a broken heart...

Poke & Peek: Another Clear!

Had my first '6 month' cysto today. And the doc said my bladder looked clear! (Of course, the cytology results won't be in till next week).

I'm so relieved! No signs of active cancer. And I don't have to do this again for another 6 months.

The CT scan, done a couple of weeks prior, was normal also. (There was a problem with my mammogram, but not in the breast where I had the cancer; it will also have to be repeated in six months.)

I was really nervous; I hadn't gone six months between 'checks' since the diagnosis on 9/10/01 (yes, I awoke in the middle of the night, post surgical in the hospital, with tubes going to strange places doing odd things, to the first of the CNN coverage of the attack).

The first year, there were two more surgeries. The second year, chemo and another surgery. Then we did every 3 months for a year. Then every 4 months for a year. This was my first 6 month stretch.

Tonight, I'm a little achey and sore. And on an antibiotic for 5 days. And it feels so very good...

Out!

One of us went out today! And it wasn't a planned outing.

In between rain storms, the weather has been nice. Today was one of those nice days. So, before I sat down at the computer to work on a manuscript, I opened up the patio door, and the bedroom window.

Lucy & Ethel like to sit on a dresser top in the bedroom, where they are up close and personal to nature.

I got to work. Got deeply involved in work. I heard, but didn't pay any attention to a loud crash I heard. Lucy & Ethel often, during mid-day, run through the apartment, taking turns chasing each other with reckless abandonment, knocking all kinds of things to the floor.

Still deep into writing, Ethel started 'bugging' me. She didn't get up on my lap, obscuring the keyboard, like she usually does. She just kept winding around the base of my wheelchair, mewing pitifully.

I finally noticed her. I finally noticed that there was just ONE cat pestering me. I went looking for Lucy.

I saw the bent window screen as soon as I went into the bedroom. The large square screen was totally folded in half, kitty corner, so to speak, from top left corner to bottom right corner. This left a very large area of the bedroom, open to the outside.

My stomach immediately clenched in a knot. I grabbed Ethel, put her in the 'safe room' (the bathroom - which contains all the kitty necessities), closed the door firmly and went in search of Ethel.

All the while, beating myself up for not paying attention to the crash, as I figured, Ethel had probably been outside for at least an hour!

I went out to the sidewalk, making noise with the 'treats' container. I went up and down the sidewalk. There was no sign of her. I expanded to the neighboring buildings, behind the neighboring buildings. No Ethel!

Making one more pass around my own building, I spotted her. She was sitting under the bush, in the dirt, RIGHT UNDER THE WINDOW SHE'D FALLEN FROM. Now I got a really sick feeling. Was she hurt??? She must be! What cat would just sit in one place for over an hour???

Staying on the sidewalk because the grass was still really mushy from all the recent rains, and my wheelchair would have sunk right in and I would have been stuck! So we were separated by about 3 yards of grass. I called to her.

She came right out to me (why she hadn't before is beyond me). But after taking just a couple of steps (I was SO happy that she was moving, walking!) towards me, she was knee deep in dewy grass. Well, she would have none of that! She had never seen grass close up, let alone walked in it! Ethel retreated to the bare ground beneath the bush. We were at a standstill.

Luckily, I live in a HUGE apartment complex, and sure enough, after only a few minutes, a delivery man arrived with something for someone. He was kind enough to go behind the bushes, grab a placid Lucy, and deposit her in my lap.

I don't know which of us was happier to be securely back inside the 'den'. I checked Lucy over carefully, she didn't seem to be hurt. I let the complaining Ethel out of the bathroom. I put a call in to have the screen repaired. I closed the manuscript I'd been working on, and we all curled up for a much needed nap!

Ides of March

Julius Caesar was assassinated on this date in 44 BC, after being warned by a soothsayer, Beware the Ides of March. Or so Shakespeare made famous in his play JULIUS CEASAR.

In times past, it was also a day to settle debts. Rather ominous and dreary connotations.

But, this is my favorite day of the entire year!

Some enjoy the tastes and aromas of Thanksgiving, leaves changing colors, and Jack Frost at the windows.

Other people prefer Christmas, and the gifts, family gatherings, and snow.

Still others look forward to the religious aspects of Easter and bunnies and colored eggs and new hats.

For me, it's the Ides of March, has been since I was old enough to realize what it signified for me. March 15th - Winter is almost over, Spring is REALLY on the horizon. And, Summer will soon follow. These are my seasons, sun, heat, long days, growing things, picnics, and baseball.

Today was picture perfect; the middle of the day was unusually warm and sunny. The air was still and full of fragrance from newly blooming plants (All that rain!). The sky was cloudless and azure blue. Silence prevailed.

I sat in the sun, alone. I could actually feel summer sneaking up behind me. I remembered other March 15th's, was glad to be alive, and cogitated on all these things.

I think I hate docs!

Just found out a couple of hours ago that Mammo's done a month ago showed a 'pinkie fingernail' size 'something' in lt. breast (prior cancer was in right - but have had several biopsies in lt.). They are gonna compare w/old films from UCSD, if they can get 'em, but still another biopsy is probably in my soon future.

I realize it's prob just a cyst (though I've never had one); I just don't want to go through it! (Isn't it someone else's turn?)

And even this will not be simple, as it should be. I will have to seriously think about changing surgeons; The one hospital my surgeon is affiliated with no longer does the 'wire placing' stuff in their radiology (talk about discrimination towards women!). You have to go to a free standing facility two miles away, (fasting), have this done, travel to two miles to the hospital and be admitted for the cutting. I don't think so...

I am tired of docs! Contrary to popular belief, neither docs nor surgeries are on my list of hobbies. And these damn surgeons & their procedures are getting so rigid! It's their way or no way. Where are my 'druthers' as a person?

Needing a wheelchair, not having transportation, family, cat sitters, $$$, etc. makes the logistics of all these 'little medical' things stressful and difficult beyond belief.

Add to this the fact that I'm not a happy camper when separated from my ciggies, BY FORCE, under these type of extremely stressful situations, I tend to get a 'little' bitchy. And the docs and nurses and other staff, just don't get it...

CLICK
HERE TO DONATE!

JOIN: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/
TO RECEIVE NOTICE OF NEW ARTICLES

High on the Hog!

I love the first week or two after the SS check is deposited in my account! Boy, I just live high on the hog (which means you are able to eat ham instead of hocks!).

Last night I got the munchies while watching TV, wandered into the kitchen and actually FOUND something that tasted good AND was suitable for a diabetic. A far too infrequent happening.

I 'pigged' out on two cold baked chicken pieces, a bowl of diet gelatin, and a big glass of cold milk.

Usually I get to choose between a Bologna sandwich, toast and jam, or Little Debbies.

It's really nice having leftover meats and fresh gelatin in the kitchen. Wish it would happen more often.

CLICK
HERE TO DONATE!

JOIN: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/
TO RECEIVE NOTICE OF NEW ARTICLES

2nd Spay Update!

Ethel has been 'out' of estrus for almost 2 weeks now, and seems absolutely fine. No signs of any other physical problems, like cystitis or other infection.

I have cancelled the 2nd spay till she goes into heat again:
-Everyone tells me surgery would have more chance of success.
-And I am reluctant to 'hand' her over to the same person that erred in the first place.
-AND have been unable to locate the vet who did the initial surgery with the CA. License Board.

I am seeking:
-Referrals to qualified licensed vets who could do this procedure in the SD city area.
-Referrals to agencies that could pay for same.

If anyone has any ideas, please leave a comment!

CLICK
HERE TO DONATE!

JOIN: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/
TO RECEIVE NOTICE OF NEW ARTICLES

Ethel needs surgery, again!

The past week has been more than a little interesting, a week that’s required much ingenuity and patience on my part!

One of my 10 month old kittens, Ethel, started crying. No matter what I tried, food, play, petting, she’d start crying again almost immediately. Even though she was also eating, drinking, playing just fine, I quickly became frantic. I checked her from her black whiskers to the tip of her tail repeatedly, thinking she was ill or has somehow injured herself. I found nothing...

Now, she HAS done this a couple of times before, weeks apart, but mildly, just off and on, a few hours at a time really, and it only lasted a couple of days at most. Though each time it happened, it did seem to last longer, and get worse. I could never find a reason for it.

This time though, after a couple of days, the crying turned to frequent loud yowls! I was beside myself. I wondered if I should have the Vet see her, etc.

However, the morning after the actual yowls started, it finally clicked in my head. (Took long enough!) As I was going from the bedroom to the coffee pot, Ethel lay down on the carpet in front of my wheelchair. And she wouldn’t move; and I mean, SHE WOULDN’T MOVE, no amount of gently pushing and prodding with my house slippered foot, would move her!

Ethel stretched, rolled, and acted generally cute and seductive. Then she scrunched herself down, assuming the ‘kitty’ position, leaving no doubt as to what she wanted! Finally, it dawned on me. Even though she’d been spayed 6 months ago, poor Ethel was in Heat! I was stunned. How could this be?

I called the Vet I use because he makes (at a very high fee) ‘house calls’. He wanted no part of it; said I needed to go back to the Veterinarian that had done the original surgery. The problem with this was, they were spayed at a low cost clinic. I’d never actually known the name of the Veterinarian. And, I hadn't taken them there, because it was too far; a volunteer had. To make matters worse, because of my recent Hard Drive Failure, I’d lost many of my ‘newer’ phone numbers and email addresses.

So, with Ethel YOWLING pitifully in the background, Lucy pacing around in a confused manner, and me pulling my hair out; I got on the internet. I was able to find a web site for the sponsoring agency of the clinic where they'd had the surgery and email them. I was also able to email a man who works with feral cats in our area, having conversed with him once before, when I was looking for kittens to adopt, thinking he’d have names and numbers. Yes! The very next morning, he called me with the info I needed.

I immediately left messages on several voice mails. While I was waiting for replies, I went back to the net, to the newsgroups, where I got a tremendous amount of help and information, even from Vets! If you have access to newsgroups, you might want to check out: rec.pets.cats.health+behav . The threads regarding Ethel are obvious.

Some of the ‘comments’ I got there:

1)“The cat in question certainly has ovarian remnant syndrome. Although, some ovarian tissue can be present even on a ligament that holds the ovary to the body wall, such thing is extremely rare, in my and my colleague's experience.

The operation may be unrewarding since you may not see a nice ovary (compared to usual spay) when you open the cat, and the cat may still go in heat after the operation. Although not a real solution, the vet may remove the uterus, if it was let behind in first operation.”

2)"Its called 'ovarian remnant syndrome' and its usually caused by sloppy surgical technique - leaving part or all of an ovary or from dropping of some ovarian tissue into the peritoneal cavity - which could revascularize and start functioning again at any time - which looks like what probably happened. I hope they plan to check her serum estrogen level before they start cutting!

3)“…do you think it is fair for the vet to charge the OP again for this procedure since it was her fault?

Charge her again? They'd be lucky if she doesn't sue them! There may be limitations on "damages to pets", but not for her mental anguish caused by their negligence. She's worried sick - and rightly so.

If it happened to my cat, I wouldn't let the same vet near my cat. In fact, I'd insist on a board certified surgeon because surgery to remove ovarian remnants requires a bit more surgical skill. The first vet couldn't get it right the first time -- I damn sure wouldn't give him/her the chance to screw it up again. I don't give vets or parachute packers’ second chances.

4)"I did notice, however, that some of the vets who remove only ovaries have higher incidence of recurrent heat.”

5)"Unfortunately, there are a few vets - just a few - who consider shelter animals "just a shelter cat/dog" - 'second rate' animals and don't give them same quality of care as an owned pet. People with that attitude don't last very long around my 'house'.


Sadly, I also got many comments to the effect that 'If you don't have the financial resources to care for pets, you shouldn' have them."

Well, I can’t afford, nor can I physically get to another Vet (And as she was already spayed, I shouldn’t HAVE too!). And this Vet is part of a spay or neuter clinic; they do not have the abilities, resources or funds to do the suggested blood work. Unbelievably, this spay and neuter ‘clinic’ is even insisting I sign a ‘waiver’ before this second surgery!

To top it off; Ethel is STILL fighting the viral infection she was born with; her immune system still is not up to par. AND she didn’t react well to the anesthetic the first time around. I’ve been told that this 2nd surgery is much more complex and that Ethel might not make it through…

On the 'up' side; she is young, otherwise healthy, and an 'upbeat' cat. (My little 'clown')

I’m STILL waiting to hear from the Vet or the Vet Tech that works in that clinic. Ethel is scheduled for her 2nd spay at the end of this month FREE of charge. Though this may be put off till she goes into Heat again; they want to 'see' her in this condition, and surgery might be easier to perform.

Ethel is now back to normal. But what a week! It stormed all week, so I couldn't even get out of the apartment in my wheelchair (can't get 'em wet!). Have you ever been locked in an apartment for a week with a cat in Heat?

To say that I’m worried (and concerned about ALL the animals that get spayed or neutered there), is putting it mildly.

CLICK
HERE TO DONATE!

JOIN: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/
TO RECEIVE NOTICE OF NEW ARTICLES

Hope & Awe!

As the days pass and I feel just a little better (most) days, and reclaim just a little more of my life (function) each day, I am absolutely filled with awe...

Yes, there are still days when I have to lie down for awhile, but not often! And every day, I need to rest a bit between chores or activities. And I can still get 'unfocused' about my tasks. BUT...

I get dressed every day, fix my hair, put on earrings, slap on some lipstick! I do little dabs of laundry in my tiny washer, hanging wet stuff all over. I do some dishes or cooking when needed. I get my mail. Make phone calls. Every few days, I do a major chore, sweep the floors, change the bed, etc.

With my new wheelchair I am able to go to doctor appointments, do my banking, do minor shoping (I order groceries twice a month online and they are delivered), etc.

As time passes, my apartment is getting cleaner and less cluttered and more organized. (This despite the fact I haven't found a 'caregiver' to hire - this would help immensely!), Unfortunately, everything does pile up before I get to it - but I DO get to it, eventually. Last year, or for the past 5 yrs, I couldn't have said that.

It's just amazing to me! After so many years of debilitating illness; I am actually starting to get a 'life' back. AND LOVING IT! And with life, comes hope, and plans for the future.

For YEARS, I was so ill, indeed for most of my life, and not understanding how other people DID life. Now not a day goes by that I don't say to myself, "No wonder other people have jobs, homes, spouses. If they feel like this just part of the time..."!!!

Hope & Awe!

CLICK
HERE TO DONATE!

JOIN: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/
TO RECEIVE NOTICE OF NEW ARTICLES

Haircut!

Today I finally did it!!!

I've been considering it for quite some time, but didn't want to make the decision during all those months I was feeling so terrible. No, that's not a good time to make big decisions...

Today I went from very long hair (over 12 inches from the ponytail!) to very, very, VERY short. (I want to get clippers and see if I can maintain the the 'DO' by myself!) And the cut hair was donated to: http://www.locksoflove.org/

I just felt that my long, long, hair was taking up far too much of my time and energy. Goodness, after I got out of the shower from washing my hair, it took me an hour to comb all the tangles out! Really! My hair was so long and so very curly.

On top of that, it basically took about an hour a day for brushing and grooming it!

Now that I'm starting to feel better, I want to get in the pool! Often! (The docs keep telling me to do 'water walking', whatever THAT is.) And trying to deal with my hair AFTER a trip to the pool AND a shower, was a energy nightmare. I know, I have tried 2 - 3 times during the past year as I gradually felt better.

So I wheeled out of that hair salon lighter all the way around, in hair and spirit. The first thing I noticed? My earrings swinging again!

JOIN the LIST
to be notified of new entries!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/

More Adventures with the Rescue Kitties!

You're not gonna believe this one!

I noticed last week that Lucy (one of my two 'rescue' 8 mo. old sister kittens) was a little lethargic. It's gotten gradually worse. Every once in awhile, she'd 'cry out', like something was hurting. But they are both eating/drinking/going potty just fine thank you...but I was wondering about the possibility of another ear infection.

My two rescue kitties CAME with an upper respiratory infection that they've been battling ever since. At various times, because their immune systems aren't working well, (I sure know that feeling!) they've had bacterial eye and ear, infections. And pneumonia. They've been through treatment w/oral antibiotic 2x, IM penicillin x 1, eye antibiotic x 2. (Which I've managed to PAY for w/the help of my friends!!!) These kittens have never even been well enough to get their 'routine' immunizations!

As they've aged, they've gradually improved, health wise, as the vets told me they would. And I thought perhaps I was at the 'end' of it and was saving my nickels to get their shots next month.

Today I went to my routine appt. w/my Ophthalmologist (to check on what diabetes is doing to my eyes), and it turns out that I have an eye infection!!! I was prescribed eye drops for daytime, ointment for night, for two weeks and then have to return to the doctor. The only symptoms I had were mildly burning/itching eyes that felt 'swollen'; I thought I'd been in front of the computer monitor too much!

I mentioned to the eye doc that my two cats had had eye infections a couple of times and could we be 'passing' it back and forth. He said it was 'not likely' but COULD BE possible. (btw, I've never in my life had an eye infection!)

Well, when I got home, Lucy had one very swollen and goopy eye, and was even more lethargic. So I called the vet. He is coming tomorrow. I mentioned to him that I had just been diagnosed with an eye infection. Could we be passing it back and forth??? He said it was unlikely, but not impossible.

As most of ya know, I live on a very fixed and limited income, am in a wheelchair, do not have a car, or access to anyone to take the cats TO a vet (besides they haven't had their distemper shots yet). My vet comes HERE. Which means he is pricey, actually downright expensive!

I estimate (based on past experience) that tomorrow, to have both cats seen, get oral antibiotics for each for 2 weeks, and ditto eye drops, is gonna run $300 minimum ($150 for 'visit' and meds for each kitty), which I will have to borrow. On top of which, I'll have to pay 10% interest on what I borrow from bank!!!

Plus, vet has been telling me all along, kitties need high powered daily vitamins for several months, till over viral whatever, and I've never been able to afford...

So now, we're ALL gonna be on eye meds!!!

And I'm asking for your help with these unexpected vet bills...

Please help if ya can!!!

And if ya can't, believe me, I understand!

Grass

Since my two kittens, Lucy & Ethel are now 8 month old teens, and inside cats, I decided to plant them a 'garden of greens' since I do have a 'green thumb'.

So I wheeled down to the pet store and purchased a package of 'mixed' grass seed for cats (and birds, etc).

I planted some in a four inch square pot and left it on the patio to root. It grew despite the very cool weather we've been having. I was pleased with myself!

When the little blades of grass were about 4 inches tall, I thought the roots would be deep enough to withstand a little tugging and chewing.

I brought the pot into the apartment, set it on a saucer, and put the whole thing in the middle of the dining room table.

The kittens found it immediately! And they chewed the new plants halfway down in about 10 minutes, then wandered off contentedly to wash little paws and whiskers.

A couple of hours later, I noticed that the plants had been gnawed down to nubs! So I seeded a second pot and set it to growing on the patio. Still being pleased with myself, I went to bed.

I saw the mess the first thing the next morning as I passed by the dining room table to switch the coffeepot on. The planter of kitty grass had been turned over. There were wet clods of dirt, thick smears of mud, and little drooping plant roots scattered about the table. But that wasn't the worst of it!

Somehow, the kittens had managed to actually pull the entire root ball OUT of the planter, drag it off the table onto the carpet! It actually took me two days to get it all cleaned up!

Lucy & Ethel loved the Kitty Grass. And I knew they needed it. But obviously, I needed to rethink this whole idea...

I hunted till I found just the right planter, a big, deep, oblong job that cost me $1.49 at the Dollar Store. I brought it home, filled it half full of heavy rocks to not only weight it down, but to provide drainage. I added the potting mix, then planted the grass seeds.

When the grass was well established, I brought it in the apartment, it was so heavy, I could hardly lift it. I placed it on a large tray on the bottom shelf of a bookcase.

Now Lucy & Ethel can go 'graze' anytime they choose. They always have fresh 'greens' and I have a minimum of mess, a few chewed off strands of grass here and there around the planter. All I have to do is water it once in awhile, and add a few seeds when it starts looking a little bare.

I'm definitely pleased with myself!!!

JOIN the LIST
to be notified of new entries!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/

Unthought of Catastophe

I thought I'd lived through, seen, heard of all the worst Nature could serve up: blizzards, tornados, heat, earthquakes, (luckily I've missed out on hurricanes, never lived in that part of the country).

But the recent earthquake and following Tsunami that struck Eastern Asia is actually beyond words. Even the pictures on the television news networks can't portray what the people there are suffering.

At some point during each day, I have to turn off the televison, put down the newspaper, or my heart would break...

JOIN the LIST
to be notified of new entries!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/

Peace And

The Holidays are over, again. And I'm glad. I loathe to 'wish' time away, as the old saying goes; but I do, each year during the entire holiday season.

It's not that I get depressed, or even blue, not anymore at least. But since I have no family, in the usual sense of the term; I don't celebrate. So the holidays are just a reminder to me of what I don't have, no longer have, or have lost. And oh, there has been so very much loss through the years!

Yes, I think that the holidays bring for me 'an awareness of loss'.

And since I don't 'celebrate', except in my heart, my life goes on, as usual. And all these days of offices and businesses being closed, and/or operating on 'short' hours, distresses me. I have to put much on hold because OTHERS celebrate...

I don't begrudge others their celebrations. No, in fact I wish them joy and peace; but I'm glad the world has returned to normal (so to speak).

JOIN the LIST
to be notified of new entries!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evvygarrett/